#ocon reader

[el-bibi]

Off limits (part one)│Mick Schumacher

summary: It's a tradition, renting a chalet and spending the winter holidays together. Usually it would be Mick, Esteban and some other friends, but this year there's someone else too. Esteban's little sister, Angela. Off limits? Yes. Irresistible? Also.

pairing: mick schumacher x ocon!reader

word count: 587

A/N: hellooo, this is my first story here on tumblr, as I wrote in my first post, I still have to figure out how to use this platform well, but I hope that this first part turned out well!

part two │part three

Méribel, December 2024

"Alright, yeah call me when you get here." Esteban took a sigh of relief and put his phone on the coffee table.

"Who was it? Your sister?" Thomas, one of his friends, asked.

"Yeah, she just landed and some friends are driving her here."

Wait, Esteban had a sister? How did Mick not know that? They had been organising this vacation at his chalet for months, why didn't he know about her?

"Mick? Mick!" Esteban's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Is there a free room for my sister? Y'know since Maia isn't coming anymore."

Right, Maia. Mick's ex had ditched him at the start of the month, so now he was the only single idiot in the group.

"Maia would have slept in my room, firstly. But yeah, there's still a guest room for her."

"Great, she'll get here in a few hours."

When the doorbell rang, it was late into the evening. Everyone was already in bed, apart from Mick. He was in front of the fire, stroking Angie's fur whilst thinking. That was probably the only thing he was good at. Not driving, not surfing, not even loving at that point.

He stood up from the armchair in front of the fireplace and went to open the door. When he saw her, he had to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He was sure he had seen her somewhere before, but he couldn't remember when. Then he noticed she looked so much like Esteban.

"Angela?"

"In the flesh," she smiled, her cheeks were rosy from the cold, her hands holding tight onto her suitcase. "My brother is asleep I'm guessing?"

"Yeah, everyone went to bed pretty early today." Mick said as he helped her inside, carrying her suitcase for her. "Come, I'll show you your room."

The chalet was beautiful, Mick's parents had always had a thing for good decor. He had spent countless days there as a kid, coming back from hitting the slopes all day long was always his favourite part.

After making sure she was settled in, he went to his own room and got in bed, although he struggled to find sleep. He just couldn't figure out when and where he had met her already. Then it all clicked. 

He had been at a party with Maia when he bumped into Esteban and Angela. At first he hadn't paid much attention to her, but when he saw how good she got along with his girlfriend he started appreciating her presence. 

He had never realised she was Esteban's sister though, and that made him feel weird as he kept checking in on her during the vacation.

Angela, however, knew exactly who he was. She had known it from the start, watching him from afar, but knew that he was out of reach since he was her brother's best friend. When she saw him open the door, she almost forgot about the icy temperature outside. He looked so comfortable and handsome. 

He was wearing some sweatpants and a hoodie of his own merch which made her smile. She had wanted that hoodie ever since it came out, but she knew that her brother would have teased her mercilessly for it.

He had grown up, his hair had gotten longer, ditching that short haircut that made him look like a little kid. He had grown some stubble, making him look even hotter in her eyes— Jesus, what was she thinking? That was her brother's best friend. He was off-limits, wasn't he?

[ari-ana-bel-la]

hiii how are you ?

can I request a dad Charles where his daughter tells everyone that she French instead of Monegasque (just like Arthur) and Charles is just losing it every time she says it

She's Monegasque, not French

It started innocently, as most things with toddlers do.

Charles was sitting in the Ferrari motorhome, his three-year-old daughter Yn nestled comfortably in his lap, her tiny hands clutching a crayon-streaked drawing of what she insisted was “Papa’s race car.” The sun was bright, the paddock buzzing with media and mechanics and laughter as the summer European leg of the season carried on in full swing.

And then it happened.

“Papa,” she said sweetly, tilting her head up at him, eyes wide and so heartbreakingly sincere, “I’m French.”

Charles blinked.

“Quoi?” he said, pulling back slightly, eyebrows lifting in gentle confusion. “Ma chérie, no, you’re not French. You’re Monegasque, like Papa.”

Yn looked at him, lips pursed, deep in thought. And then she gave a little shrug. “Non. I’m French, like Uncle Thur.”

Charles groaned softly and let his head fall back against the couch. “Not this again.”

From across the room, Arthur—lounging lazily in a chair, eating grapes like he was Caesar in a past life—choked on his laughter.

“I didn’t teach her that,” Arthur said through wheezes. “She came up with it on her own. Genius, really.”

“You encourage it!” Charles accused, pointing an indignant finger at his younger brother. “You always say you’re French!”

“Well, I am French,” Arthur said with a grin. “Monegasque passport and everything. And clearly, Yn has excellent taste.”

“Excellent taste in traitors. And Monaco is not France,” Charles muttered, pulling Yn closer as if cuddling her tightly would somehow absorb her back into Monegasque pride.

But it didn’t stop there.

No, Yn had decided. French it was.

She told the Ferrari PR team she was French when they asked where she was from. She announced it proudly to the camera when someone tried to film a cute moment with her and her dad. She whispered it solemnly to Carlos while sitting in his lap eating strawberries.

“Papa’s sad ‘cause I’m French,” she told Carlos.

Carlos, eyes sparkling with mischief, leaned in conspiratorially. “That’s okay, Princesa. I’m Spanish, and he still talks to me.”

“Does he love you?” Yn asked, dead serious.

Carlos blinked. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Then maybe he’ll still love me even if I’m French.”

Behind them, Charles face-palmed.

The drivers got wind of it quickly—because of course they did.

By the next day, the jokes were relentless.

“So,” Lando said at breakfast in the hotel, stirring sugar into his coffee like he was preparing to deliver a monologue. “Do I address her as ‘Mademoiselle Yn’ now or...?”

“She’s not French,” Charles groaned.

“She told my engineer she wants her birthday cake in the shape of the Eiffel Tower,” Max deadpanned, walking by and tossing Charles a sympathetic look. “Good luck with that.”

Even Seb, who was visiting that weekend with his kids, gave Charles a comforting pat on the back. “At least she’s not saying she’s German. Yet.”

And then there was Esteban.

“Oh, this is fantastique,” Esteban beamed, scooping Yn up in the paddock one afternoon. “You’re French, just like me!”

Yn squealed and threw her arms around his neck. “Oui!”

Charles practically melted into the tarmac. “Mon dieu…”

But it was Arthur who reveled in it most.

He started wearing a beret. A beret, for god’s sake.

One afternoon in the hospitality tent, he presented Yn with a baguette and a small fake mustache. “For my fellow French citizen,” he declared proudly.

“Merci, Uncle Thur!” Yn beamed, sticking the mustache crookedly on her nose.

“I am living in a cartoon,” Charles mumbled into his hands.

No amount of explaining helped.

“But Monaco is in France,” she argued one night while Charles tucked her into bed in the team’s motorhome. “It’s right there.”

“No, chérie,” Charles said gently, brushing her curls back. “It’s close, but it’s its own country. Like Papa said before, remember?”

“I like France better.”

He sighed and tried the next best tactic: bribery.

“If you say you’re Monegasque again,” he whispered conspiratorially, “Papa will buy you ten ice creams tomorrow.”

Yn narrowed her eyes, suspicious. “What kind?”

“Any kind. Strawberry. Chocolate. All of them.”

“Hmm…” she tapped her chin with exaggerated thought. “I still wanna be French.”

He clutched his chest. “Traitor.”

The situation hit a new peak during the Saturday driver briefing. Yn, accompanied by Carlos and Charles, had been allowed to come along briefly before things got official. She toddled in wearing sunglasses way too big for her face and a little Ferrari cap.

Yuki crouched down to her level with a big smile. “Bonjour, Mademoiselle Yn.”

“I’m French!” she declared proudly, striking a pose.

Yuki laughed. “That’s so cool! Then you must know that Uncle Pierre is also French!”

Yn froze.

All the drivers went still.

Charles raised his head slowly, eyes narrowing.

Yn’s nose scrunched up.

“…Uncle Pierre?”

“Yes,” Yuki chirped, unaware he was about to break the world’s most stubborn three-year-old. “He’s very French. Like super French.”

The silence that followed could have swallowed a pit lane.

Charles watched her face shift—concentration, confusion… and then determination.

She took off her sunglasses, turned to her father, and declared solemnly, “Papa. I’m not French anymore.”

Charles blinked. “You’re not?”

“I’m Monegasque now.”

“...Why?”

She folded her arms. “I don’t wanna be the same as Uncle Pierre.”

“WHAT?!” Pierre shouted from across the room, utterly betrayed.

Arthur was on the floor, laughing so hard he nearly cried. “Nooo! The French alliance has fallen!”

Carlos, barely holding it together, whispered, “Monaco wins.”

Charles scooped Yn up with the biggest grin he’d worn in days. “You have made Papa so proud.”

Yn patted his cheek. “Do I still get ice cream?”

He laughed, hugging her tight. “You can have all the ice cream you want, mon amour.”

Behind him, Pierre was muttering in disbelief, “What did I do? What did I do?”

And from that day on, Yn was proudly, defiantly, loyally Monegasque.

Until next week, when she decided she wanted to be Italian because “Papa’s car is red like Italy.”

And Charles just sighed into his espresso.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Authors Note: Hey loves. I hope you enjoyed reading this story. My requests are always open for you.

-🩷🎀

[jungwnies]

f1 grid | serving yourself less (tiktok trend)

୨ৎ : featuring : all drivers on the grid ୨ৎ : synopsis (requested by anon) : serving your formula one boyfriend more than you serve yourself

୨ৎ : genre : comedy - tiktok trend ୨ৎ : word count : 1547

୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ 10k event | masterlist ୨ৎ

ᡣ𐭩 a/n : i got a final exam tmrw and i already know im beyond cooked

ʚ・red bull

max verstappen

immediately looks at your plate, then at his, then back at yours.

“that’s it?”

scoops food onto your plate without asking. “you didn’t see me doing that.”

mutters under his breath the whole time: “ridiculous. you think i’m gonna eat all this while you nibble on two leaves?”

makes you sit down while he fixes you a proper plate.

“you’ll thank me later when you’re not starving in two hours.”

yuki tsunoda

jaw drops. full betrayal.

“why is your plate sad? do you hate food?”

takes food off his plate and puts it on yours like he’s rescuing it.

“you need to eat or u will be grumpy. and you know what happens when you're grumpy.”

glares at your plate for the rest of the meal to make sure you don’t sneak food back.

will literally feed you if he has to.

ʚ・mercedes

george russell

stares at your plate like you’ve just insulted everything he stands for.

“darling... that’s not a meal. that’s a sad sample.”

immediately puts his fork down. “what’s going on? why are you eating like a bird?”

gives you a speech about nutrients. you don’t even make it five minutes in before he’s switching your plate with his.

“eat. i’ll make us smoothies after. with oats. and peanut butter.”

glares at anyone else at the table who doesn’t say anything.

kimi antonelli

freezes mid-bite and just blinks at your plate.

“...wait, is that all you’re eating?”

awkwardly tries not to panic but can’t stop glancing at your food.

“you want some of mine?” pushes his whole plate toward you like a puppy offering a toy.

you say you’re not hungry and he goes quiet.

five minutes later: “okay but… what if i just gave you half of everything i have?”

ʚ・ferrari

charles leclerc

eyebrows instantly scrunch together.

“bébé… where’s the rest?”

literally keeps waiting for you to go back for more.

when you don’t, he starts panicking gently: “is this about something? are you okay? are you mad at me?”

puts things from his plate on yours like it’s no big deal.

whispers “please eat, i hate when you don’t” like you just told him you’re leaving forever.

kisses your temple and goes “merci” when you take a bite.

lewis hamilton

side-eyes your plate with a little smirk.

“you planning to go back for seconds… or is that a cry for help?”

smooth as hell while sliding his fork over to your plate, spearing some of his food, and holding it to your mouth.

“open up, baby. i know you're hungry.”

if you say you’re not, he tilts his head and gives you the look.

“don’t make me get up and fix you a real plate. because i will.”

makes you finish at least half of his meal too, while rubbing your back the whole time.

ʚ・mclaren

lando norris

stares at your plate. then stares at you.

“what’s that?”

full dramatic gasp. clutches chest. “you’re joking. that’s the appetizer, right? where’s the rest?”

scoots your plate next to his and starts transferring food over like it’s a formula one pit stop.

“you’re not doing this ‘cute portions’ thing again. eat properly or i’ll call your mum.”

makes airplane noises while feeding you a bite just to be annoying.

you try to glare but you’re laughing too hard to stop him.

oscar piastri

doesn’t say anything at first, just silently eyes your plate… then yours again.

“that’s... all?”

furrows his brows slightly. “is something wrong? are you okay?”

super calm but will not let this slide. adds food to your plate like he’s just “helping,” not completely panicking inside.

casually: “you can finish mine too if you want.”

when you finally take a real bite, he visibly relaxes and says, “thank you” like you just took your meds.

ʚ・aston martin

fernando alonso

pretends not to notice at first.

then eyes your plate like it's personally disrespecting him.

“you’re kidding. right? that’s not dinner. that’s—snack behavior.”

takes your plate, loads it up himself, and hands it back without a word.

“eat,” he says, deadpan.

if you protest, he hits you with the eyebrow raise and mutters something in Spanish under his breath like “mi vida está loca.”

cuts your food into pieces and says “better” while sipping his wine like the crisis has been handled.

lance stroll

instantly frowns when he sees your plate.

“hey… where’s the rest?”

full concerned rich boy mode: “did the chef mess something up? do you want me to order something else?”

scoots closer and starts offering bites of his meal.

“you want a bite? actually—here, have all of it.”

if you take even a few bites, he goes, “that’s my girl” and kisses your forehead like you just saved his life.

100% sneaks extra dessert onto your plate later. plays innocent when you call him out.

ʚ・williams

alex albon

dramatic gasp. like cartoon-level gasp.

“okay, what is that? no really, explain. is that a bite? a sample? a decoration?”

“i’m calling your mom. i’m calling your best friend. we’re staging an intervention.”

takes your plate and starts adding food while lecturing you.

“you’re hot and smart but your portion control is a war crime.”

kisses your temple like he didn’t just drag you and says, “eat up, pretty girl.”

continues feeding you from his plate like a clingy golden retriever boyfriend.

carlos sainz

freezes when he sees your plate. stares at it. stares at you.

“is that all you’re eating?”

you shrug. he sighs and sets down his fork. full concerned boyfriend mode.

“mi amor, that’s not enough. seriously.”

pushes his plate toward you and waits until you take a bite. then goes soft.

“tienes que comer bien, cariño.” (you have to eat well, darling.)

“te necesito fuerte y feliz, no con hambre.” (i need you strong and happy, not hungry.)

spoons extra food onto your plate every time you’re not looking. smiles like he’s done nothing.

ʚ・haas

ollie bearman

gasps like you just insulted his entire bloodline.

“wait wait wait. THAT’S your plate? you’re kidding.”

points at it dramatically. “someone get the girl a real meal!”

piles food on your plate himself while mumbling, “she thinks that’s gonna get her through the day? she’s insane. adorable. but insane.”

offers to feed you personally if it means you’ll eat more.

“open up. no, seriously. i’m not letting you leave this table hungry.”

won’t let it go for a week. “remember when you tried to survive on three leaves and half a tomato?”

esteban ocon

doesn’t say anything right away. just side-eyes your plate with increasing concern.

“is that enough? are you sure? you’re sure?”

when you insist it’s fine, he just sighs and very gently starts moving food from his plate to yours like it’s a covert operation.

“just in case you get hungry later,” he says softly.

watches you eat like a hawk. when you finish, he smiles like it’s a personal win.

mutters to himself in French the entire time — something suspiciously close to, “elle va me rendre fou.” (she’s going to drive me crazy.)

ʚ・racing bulls

liam lawson

does a double take. then slowly turns to you.

“so you hate food now? or is this performance art?”

chuckles but immediately adds more food to your plate. “this feels illegal.”

makes jokes the entire meal, “you need a magnifying glass to see that portion.”

but side-eyes you so hard every time you put your fork down.

halfway through, scoots his plate between you both. “just share mine. easier.”

whispers “you’re actually feral for that” in your ear, but kisses your cheek while handing you a bite.

isack hadjar

absolutely scandalized.

“quoi?! that’s not dinner. that’s—what is that!”

full-on offended. places a hand on his heart like you’ve betrayed his entire French culinary heritage.

literally gets up and remakes your plate. “you eat what i give you. this is criminal.”

gives you a “look” every time you try to protest. you know the one.

softens immediately when you take a real bite. “bon. merci, mon cœur.”

kisses your head like a reward and mutters, “don’t scare me like that again.”

ʚ・alpine

pierre gasly

immediately dramatic. like, eyebrows raised, jaw dropped, wine glass in hand.

“you trying to break my heart? because that’s what this is.”

pokes at your plate with his fork. “this is… decorative. c’est rien.”

slides his plate next to yours and starts serving you from it.

“eat, mon ange. i need you strong enough to carry this relationship.”

flirts relentlessly until you give in.

“you’ll eat for me, right? be my good girl?”

smirks like he just won the Monaco GP when you take a real bite.

jack doohan

doesn’t say much. just blinks at your plate.

“is that enough?”

you say yes. he nods.

five minutes later he’s quietly refilling your plate like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“i just thought you might want more.”

casually puts a piece of his food on your fork and waits.

won’t push you, but his quiet worry is palpable.

kisses your temple when you finish and mumbles, “thank you,” like you saved his appetite.

ʚ・kick sauber

nico hulkenberg

raises an eyebrow. says nothing for a full thirty seconds.

“...that’s it?”

sips his drink, pretending not to care. he cares so deeply it’s physically hurting him.

eventually breaks. sighs and says, “give me your plate.”

doesn’t ask — just starts adding food to it.

“you’ll thank me when you’re not lightheaded later.”

kisses your forehead once and mutters something like, “don’t do that again, yeah?”

gabriel bortoleto

visibly stressed.

“babe? love? angel? why is your plate empty?”

starts rapid-fire listing all the food options: “do you want rice? bread? i can go get something else—”

won’t start eating until you’ve got a full plate.

watches you take every bite like he’s tracking your hydration levels too.

ends the night making you tea and saying “you scared me,” while cuddling you for the next three hours.

2021-2025 © jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate

[paucubarsisimp]

Can I request a multiple F1 grid: Trying to build the Lego F1 cars together? I just bought one and it was both fun and frustrating to build. Thank you so much if you do fill my request and of course I understand if you don’t. Have a lovely day!

lego cars

pairings: all current grid drivers x reader

summary: building f1 legos with your f1 driver boyfriend

warnings: swearing

୨ৎ lando norris

the floor was a mess of orange, black, and grey lego pieces, but your boyfriend looked entirely unbothered, sitting cross-legged in the middle of it like a kid on christmas morning.

“are we actually going to finish this tonight?” you asked, squinting at the thick instruction booklet in your lap.

lando didn’t even look up. “of course we are. we’re professionals.”

you snorted. “you drive a real mclaren, babe. that doesn’t make you a lego engineer.”

he finally looked over, a lopsided grin on his face. “speak for yourself. i’ve got the hand-eye coordination of a god.”

you held up two nearly identical orange pieces. “then explain which one of these is step 274 and which is step 275.”

lando stared at them, squinting dramatically. “…they’re the same.”

“they’re not,” you said, already laughing.

and so it went. for every five steps you made progress, lando somehow distracted you for three. whether it was joking around, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your cheek, or making car noises as he pushed the half-built model across the table — he made it fun.

“this is kind of romantic,” he said suddenly, looking at the nearly complete mclaren between you.

you raised an eyebrow. “covered in plastic bricks, sitting on the floor, slowly losing our minds — that’s your definition of romance?”

he shrugged, inching closer. “yeah. it’s like… we’re building something together. literally and figuratively.”

you laughed, but your heart swelled a little at that. “that was either really cute or really cheesy.”

“both,” he admitted, nudging your knee with his.

when the final piece clicked into place, you both just sat there, admiring the tiny f1 car you’d brought to life together.

lando reached over and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, tugging you against him. “we make a good team.”

“you mean i follow instructions and you provide chaos?”

“exactly.” he kissed the side of your head. “perfect balance.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ oscar piastri

the floor was a battlefield of tiny lego pieces in shades of orange, black, and grey. oscar sat cross-legged across from you, his brow furrowed in concentration as he stared down at the instruction booklet.

“are you sure you’re following the instructions properly?” you asked, glancing over at him. “this is starting to look more like a spaceship than an f1 car.”

oscar didn’t look up. “it’s fine. i’ve got it under control.”

you raised an eyebrow, skeptically eyeing the growing pile of mismatched pieces around him. “you say that, but i’m starting to question your lego expertise.”

he finally looked up, smirking. “i’m an f1 driver. i can build anything. it’s all about precision and… patience.”

you bit back a laugh. “precision, huh? so you’re saying you’re totally sure that piece you just put on is supposed to be there?”

oscar glanced down at the piece in his hand, eyes widening slightly. “okay, maybe it’s not exactly in the right place, but it’s close.”

you shook your head, trying to hide your smile. “you’re lucky you’re cute.”

he grinned, clearly pleased with the compliment. “that’s the plan. get by on charm and looks.”

as you worked together, it became clear that while oscar might not be a lego master, he sure was good at making you laugh. every so often, he’d dramatically announce that a piece absolutely belonged in a spot it clearly didn’t, or he’d break into random comments about how the car’s “aerodynamics” weren’t up to his standards.

“this doesn’t look like a proper racing car,” he muttered, holding up a half-finished section. “i think we need to take this back to the pits for some adjustments.”

you grinned. “if only you could bring a lego car to the team garage for a quick pit stop.”

he winked. “hey, it’s the next best thing. no tire changes, but plenty of potential.”

finally, after some back-and-forth and more than a few wrong pieces, the lego mclaren started to resemble something recognizable. oscar stepped back, crossing his arms with a proud smile.

“we did it,” he said, his voice soft but pleased.

you looked down at the completed model and grinned. “well, you did it, actually. i just followed your instructions.”

“exactly,” he said, nudging your shoulder with his. “teamwork.”

“you mean your work and me just looking pretty while pretending to know what i’m doing?”

oscar chuckled and leaned over, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. “something like that. but seriously, i’m glad we did this.”

you smiled, resting your head on his shoulder as you both admired your work. “me too. i think it looks even better because we built it together.”

he nodded, wrapping his arm around you. “definitely. and now, we’ve got the most unique mclaren f1 car in the world.”

you both sat there for a while, in the quiet satisfaction of a task completed — and maybe, just maybe, a few more moments of laughter and memories added to your time together.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ george russell

the living room looked like a miniature pit lane disaster. grey and black lego pieces covered the floor, coffee table, and parts of george’s lap. he sat, back straight as ever, holding what looked like a front wing and staring at it like it had just insulted his entire career.

“this is… incorrect,” he muttered.

you looked over from the other side of the table. “you said that about the last four pieces.”

“and i was right all four times,” he replied with a faintly dramatic sigh, “but this one’s actually wrong.”

you leaned in. “george, the instructions are literally step-by-step. just follow them.”

he gave you a flat look. “i am following them. but the piece was misprinted.”

you blinked. “you think mercedes messed up a lego set.”

“not mercedes. lego,” he corrected, deadly serious. “mercedes would never.”

you bit back a laugh. “you sound like you’re defending the honor of the factory.”

he smirked a little, then looked down at the tiny W15 replica in progress. “well… they did build this one. just, you know, full size.”

“and not out of plastic.”

“small detail.”

you shifted closer, watching him click the front wing in, still with that careful, surgeon-level precision. “i like seeing you like this,” you said softly. “focused, but not… stressed.”

he looked over at you, some of the usual pressure in his shoulders melting a bit. “it’s nice. building something without a stopwatch.”

after a few minutes of quiet building, broken only by occasional lego clicks and your cat batting a tire piece under the couch, george finally leaned back to admire the half-built car.

“she’s beautiful,” he said, proud. “and more cooperative than the real one some days.”

you raised an eyebrow. “are you giving a press quote to a toy?”

he shrugged. “i speak from experience.”

you nudged him with your foot. “can’t wait for you to give a whole post-race debrief to this thing.”

“if it finishes ahead of me, i might have to.”

you both laughed, and george reached over to take your hand, twining your fingers with his without looking away from the tiny car.

“thanks for doing this,” he said. “i know it’s silly.”

“not silly,” you said quietly. “you spend all day breaking down the most complex machine in the world. it’s nice to see you build something just because you want to.”

he smiled, then gently tapped the half-built car. “it’s a good one. but it’s missing something.”

“what’s that?”

“driver figure,” he said, holding up the little lego helmet. “every car needs one.”

you laughed. “well, you better get him in before he misses quali.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ kimi antonelli

“mate, i swear to god, this is missing a piece.”

kimi antonelli sat cross-legged on your rug, a confused frown on his face as he poked through a sea of grey lego bricks. the nearly-complete mercedes w15 sat between you, missing exactly one sidepod.

you glanced up from your half of the build. “kimi, it’s not missing. it’s under your leg.”

he froze, looked down, and muttered, “ma che cazzo…”

you tried not to laugh as he pulled the piece free, shaking his head at himself. “this is why i drive the car and not build it.”

“oh please, even george finished his set last week,” you teased. “he timed it. wrote it down. probably logged it in a spreadsheet.”

kimi rolled his eyes, smirking. “yeah, well, george also irons his socks. i’m not competing with that.”

you both laughed, but kimi’s focus returned to the tiny car in front of him. he clicked the sidepod into place with careful hands, jaw tight in concentration. despite the casual “mate”s and the chill exterior, you could tell he wanted this perfect.

“you always this serious about lego?”

“only when it’s my car,” he muttered. “first season in f1, first time with mercedes… feels kinda unreal.”

you tilted your head, voice softening. “does it feel like pressure?”

he didn’t answer right away, just ran a thumb along the smooth line of the lego chassis.

“a bit,” he admitted finally. “but… it also feels right. like i’m where i’m supposed to be.”

“you are,” you said, nudging his arm. “you’ve earned every bit of it.”

he gave you a small smile, then leaned back on one hand, holding the tiny lego driver helmet in the other. “hope the real car treats me better than this damn brick one. this thing’s falling apart every time i touch it.”

“just like the rear grip in turn 11?”

he gave you a mock glare. “vaffanculo.”

you laughed, and he laughed with you, head tipping back slightly. there was something bright in his eyes—equal parts excitement and nerves.

“george said he’s gonna come over and check it when we’re done,” you said after a beat.

kimi groaned. “he’s gonna critique it like it’s an aero debrief. 'why did you use the wrong diffuser panel, mate?'”

you grinned. “better get it right then.”

he clicked the final piece into place with a satisfying snap, exhaled deeply, then held up the finished car with both hands like it was sacred.

“look at that,” he said, pride sneaking into his voice. “first mercedes built.”

“first of many.”

“damn right,” he murmured. then, with a smirk, “mate, we’re gonna need a bigger shelf.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ max verstappen

“this is stupid.”

max said it flatly, staring down at the unopened box of the red bull lego f1 car on the table.

you raised an eyebrow. “you picked it out.”

“yeah, well. it looked cool. didn’t realize it had a thousand pieces.”

you smirked. “scared of a few tiny bricks?”

“no,” he said, already slicing open the box with a kitchen knife like it had insulted him. “i just don’t like losing. even to plastic.”

you bit back a laugh. “who are you losing to, max? it’s just you and me.”

he gave you a look. “and i will beat you, obviously.”

“this isn’t a race.”

“everything is a race.”

you sighed, but there was no real annoyance behind it. max was already deep into organizing the pieces into small piles—color-coded, of course. he wasn’t about to admit he cared, but he was treating this with the same quiet focus he brought to race sims.

half an hour in, you looked over at his side of the build. it was surprisingly perfect—sharp edges, clean lines, everything matched the instruction booklet exactly.

“you’re weirdly good at this,” you said.

he shrugged. “spatial awareness.”

“is that what we’re calling lego talent now?”

he gave a smug little smile. “don’t be jealous.”

you rolled your eyes. “you literally threatened to throw yours out the window ten minutes ago.”

“because the rear wing wouldn’t line up,” he muttered, holding up a tiny piece with disdain. “this thing is so unrealistic.”

“you drive a car that hits 300 kph in a straight line and you're mad about a lego wing?”

he grunted, snapping it into place anyway. “it’s the principle.”

eventually, you both fell into a rhythm. soft music played in the background, and the only sound was the satisfying clicks of bricks and the occasional muttered dutch swearing when max misplaced a piece.

“fuck” he hissed under his breath, digging through a pile. “it was here, i saw it—”

you held up the missing piece. “you mean this one?”

he stared. “…you stole it.”

“i found it.”

he narrowed his eyes. “i want a rematch when this is done.”

“max, this wasn’t a competition.”

“you say that,” he replied, snapping the piece into place. “but i’m winning.”

you looked over at his perfectly assembled lego rb20 and sighed.

“okay. maybe you are.”

he grinned, leaned back, and crossed his arms like a smug cat. “next time, we build monaco.”

you raised a brow. “the whole track?”

“yeah,” he said. “then i lap you.”

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୨ৎ yuki tsunoda

“why the fuck are there so many pieces?!”

you looked up to see yuki holding a clear bag of lego parts like it had personally offended him. his eyebrows were scrunched, mouth open in disbelief, hair slightly disheveled—classic signs of a yuki meltdown brewing.

“because you picked the detailed version,” you said, trying not to laugh.

he groaned dramatically and flopped back onto the couch. “i thought it was gonna be like, 100 pieces. max.”

“you drive a formula one car and this is what breaks you?”

he pointed at the half-built lego version of his old alpha tauri car, now rebranded and reboxed under a new team name. “this thing is too tiny. my fingers are not made for this shit.”

you reached over and gently fixed a piece he’d put on backwards. “you literally have hands made for this. they’re small.”

“rude,” he muttered, popping a sour candy into his mouth. “also true.”

you smiled and went back to your part of the build. yuki followed, a little grumbly but determined, muttering in both english and japanese as he tried to line up the next wing section.

“this piece doesn’t fit—kuso!—okay, never mind, i fixed it.”

“look at you,” you teased. “problem solver.”

he gave you a side-eye. “i’m gonna throw this car out the window if one more piece falls apart.”

you leaned in close, inspecting the tiny front wing he’d just attached. “actually, this is really good. like, suspiciously good.”

he beamed. “i know, right?”

you blinked. “did you just… accept a compliment without deflecting it?”

“i’m evolving.”

he sat up straighter, brushing brick dust off his sweatpants. “honestly, it’s kinda nice. building something that doesn’t involve brake temps and tire wear.”

you looked over, surprised by the sudden shift in tone. “yeah?”

he shrugged. “everything’s serious all the time. it’s nice to just do something dumb with you.”

your smile softened. “we should make it a thing. post-race lego nights.”

“only if you promise to open the bags next time. i almost sliced my finger on that stupid little plastic edge.”

“deal.”

he held up the half-built car triumphantly. “look! it’s a car. kind of.”

“good enough for an f1 rookie,” you teased.

“oi,” he said, lightly kicking your leg. “i’m a veteran now.”

you giggled, and he reached over, placing the tiny lego helmet on the driver figure with way more care than he’d shown to the rest of the car.

“there,” he said. “now he won’t crash.”

“unlike you in austria 2022.”

“shut up!”

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୨ৎ charles leclerc

the coffee table was covered in little red lego bricks, most of them scattered far beyond where they were supposed to be. somewhere among the chaos sat charles, cross-legged, sleeves pushed up, brows drawn together like this was his actual ferrari on race day.

“you look stressed,” you teased, holding out a curved red piece. “you okay there, captain monaco?”

he sighed dramatically. “this is harder than qualifying in the rain.”

you grinned. “you chose this, you know.”

“yes, but i didn’t think ferrari lego would betray me too.”

you laughed, watching as he studied the instructions like it was a secret strategy briefing. he was painfully serious about it — biting his lip, double-checking every step, occasionally whispering under his breath in french.

“you do realize it’s just a toy, right?” you asked, leaning your chin into your palm as you watched him.

he glanced up, smiling sheepishly. “it’s not just a toy. it’s a ferrari.”

“ah. sacred ground.”

he chuckled, reaching for a piece but brushing your hand instead. he paused, letting his fingers rest lightly over yours for a second. “merci for helping, by the way.”

you shrugged. “i’m here for moral support. and to make sure you don’t accidentally build a mclaren by mistake.”

charles gasped, hand to heart. “that’s… that’s cruel.”

“just keeping you humble.”

as the model slowly took shape, you started to enjoy the rhythm of it — the quiet little jokes, the hum of soft music in the background, charles occasionally singing under his breath in french when he thought you weren’t listening.

at one point, he sat back and held up the half-built ferrari, inspecting it like an art piece. “it’s not perfect, but… it has character.”

“so, just like your real car?”

he smirked. “exactly.”

once the final piece clicked into place, he leaned back beside you on the floor, both of you just admiring the miniature sf-24 in front of you. the iconic red, the delicate little wings, the prancing horse.

“we should put it somewhere,” you said quietly.

“on my sim rig.”

“really?”

he turned to you, eyes soft. “of course. you helped build it. it’s important.”

you rested your head against his shoulder. “maybe next time we build something less… intense.”

he smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “like what?”

“lego monaco. or, i don’t know… a tiny lego you.”

charles chuckled. “you’d still make fun of it.”

“absolutely.”al

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୨ৎ lewis hamilton

lewis hummed quietly as he picked through the lego pieces, the ferrari logo staring back at him from the instruction manual. the new team, new car, new journey—but still the same lewis, calm and collected, moving through the pieces with ease.

“you’d think after all these months i’d be used to seeing my name in red,” he said, his voice soft. “but it’s still… weird.”

you looked over at him, glancing between the almost-finished lego sf-23 and his focused expression. “weird in a good way?”

he paused, then smiled, that familiar, relaxed smile that had always made him seem like he knew something no one else did. “yeah. definitely. it’s a change, but… a good one.”

you handed him a small piece. “you’ve been in a lot of teams, but this one’s special.”

“it is,” he agreed, clicking the piece into place. “ferrari’s got history. it’s a different kind of challenge, you know? charles and i, we’ve got a good energy together, but there's pressure to live up to everything this team represents.”

you nodded. “but you’ve already built so much in your career. now, it’s just about making something new.”

he gave a short laugh. “i hope that’s how it feels when this lego car’s done. fresh start.”

you watched him attach the rear wing, his fingers surprisingly gentle as he fitted the pieces together. “i think it’s already looking good.”

“well,” he said, eyes glinting playfully, “if it’s anything like my actual car, it’s gonna be fast.”

you smirked. “you mean like the perfectly tuned car you’ve already built over there?” you teased, motioning to the tiny, almost perfect lego ferrari.

“hey,” he said with mock offense. “i told you it was gonna be smooth.”

“that’s the thing with you, lewis,” you grinned, “everything’s smooth.”

he glanced over at you with a warm smile, his eyes softening. “i like to keep things balanced. at least here, we don’t have to worry about track limits or tire wear.”

you chuckled. “yeah, but look at how much you’re stressing over these bricks.”

“mate,” he said, his tone warm but teasing, “this is serious business.”

just as he said it, roscoe trotted over, sniffing around the legos with interest before promptly sitting on a pile of tires.

“oh, no,” lewis sighed, reaching down to gently move the dog. “roscoe, not the tires!”

you laughed. “he just wants to help.”

“help my ass,” lewis muttered, chuckling. “he’s got his own ideas of how to build a car.”

“maybe you should let him try next time.”

“only if he can actually get a car across the finish line,” lewis said, shaking his head as roscoe finally wandered off to nap. he looked at you again, his expression softening. “thanks for doing this. it’s nice to just… relax for a bit.”

you smiled. “it’s fun building this with you.”

he leaned back slightly, stretching out. “yeah. this is what i needed.”

you both leaned in to finish the last few pieces, the ferrari lego car coming together bit by bit.

“looks like we’re ready for the race,” you said as the last wheel snapped into place.

“we?” lewis raised an eyebrow. “i’m the one who’s going to take this one across the finish line.”

you gave him a sly grin. “in this case, i’m the engineer.”

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୨ৎ alex albon

alex sat cross-legged on the floor, a slight frown tugging at his mouth as he studied the lego pieces in front of him. his arms were slightly crossed, his posture just the right amount of focus—like he was working on a race car, but also maybe half-watching a documentary on the side.

“i swear, the instructions are getting longer,” he muttered, leafing through the booklet. “first it was ‘snap this piece in,’ now it’s like, ‘align with symmetry,’ and i’m just—what?”

you peeked over from your side of the table, where your own lego car was slowly taking shape. “getting overwhelmed by legos, alex?”

he gave you a deadpan look. “no. it’s just… a lot of tiny pieces. i feel like i need a magnifying glass to find the one i need.”

you smiled and handed him a small pile of sorted pieces. “here. these are for the front wing.”

he looked at you with a raised brow. “are you seriously trying to make me faster than i am right now?”

“just building the car the way it’s meant to be,” you teased, settling back down.

alex grinned, clearly not offended. “ah, i see. you’re the one setting the lap times.”

you both fell into a comfortable silence, the only sound being the soft clicks of plastic as you built. occasionally, alex would let out a sigh or mutter something like “this is ridiculous,” but he was enjoying it. it was the kind of peaceful activity he didn't always have the luxury to enjoy, with racing schedules and endless debriefs.

finally, a piece wouldn’t fit into place. alex’s frustration broke the silence.

“nope, this thing’s just wrong,” he said, holding the piece up. “it’s not even close to lining up. does this look right to you?”

you looked at it, then shrugged. “looks like a sidepod to me.”

“a sidepod?” he repeated, holding it at arm's length. “mate, this looks like it belongs in the trash.”

you snickered, but then the two of you actually took a moment to study the instructions more carefully, only to realize it was the wrong piece altogether. alex huffed, clearly trying not to laugh.

“see?” he said, still holding it up. “this is why i’m better at driving the damn car than assembling it.”

“yeah,” you said with a smile. “you’re better at handling high speeds than handling legos.”

he stuck out his tongue at you, and you both giggled, your hands working together to fix the tiny mistake. after a few more minutes, the lego car was taking shape.

“hey,” alex said, his voice slightly more serious now, “this actually looks pretty good.”

you looked over at him, admiring the completed piece. “yeah. we make a good team.”

alex leaned back, stretching his legs out and looking at the car with satisfaction. “i think we just built the best f1 car ever.”

“only because it’s the one you made.”

he flashed you a cheeky grin. “fair. but i’ve got the race car driving skills to back it up.”

you nudged him with your foot, laughing. “keep telling yourself that, albon.”

he leaned forward again, fixing the tiny helmet in the driver's seat. “maybe next time, we’ll race our cars. legitimately.”

you raised an eyebrow. “only if you’re ready to lose.”

he smirked, giving the car one last look. “oh, i’m ready.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ carlos sainz

lego pieces were everywhere—on the floor, the couch, even somehow in carlos’s hoodie pocket. he stared down at the instruction booklet, jaw clenched.

“¿pero qué coño es esto?” he muttered, turning a piece over for the third time.

you laughed from your spot on the rug. “that’s literally the front wing, carlos. we’ve built, like, four of them by now.”

“sí, but this one looks backwards,” he grumbled, snapping it in the wrong way again.

you scooted closer, gently taking it from him. “nope. trust the manual. or me, preferably.”

he huffed but gave in, watching you click the piece into place with maddening ease. “you’re scarily good at this.”

“just say it. i’m the better engineer.”

he glanced at the half-finished lego williams car between you. “i’ll admit it when i’m not being humiliated by a plastic toy.”

you snorted. “this is your car now, by the way. you should probably get used to it.”

he paused, then gave a small, crooked smile. “yeah… it’s weird seeing it like this. not red anymore. it’s a whole new world.”

you softened. “and you’re building it. piece by piece.”

he reached for your hand without thinking, fingers brushing yours as he looked down at the little blue machine. “and you're here with me. that helps.”

you smirked. “even if i bully you about legos?”

he rolled his eyes playfully. “cariño, you’ve been talking shit for an hour. qué pesada.”

“and yet… you’re still here.”

he chuckled, leaning in to kiss your temple. “i must be un poco loco.”

from the corner, your cat knocked over a bag of bricks with a loud clatter.

“joder,” carlos muttered, already crawling after them. ��your cat’s trying to destroy my career.”

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୨ৎ esteban ocon

esteban sat on the floor, surrounded by a sea of black and white lego pieces. he was intensely focused, his brow furrowed as he carefully put together the first bits of the haas f1 car. the faint sound of a podcast played in the background, but esteban barely seemed to notice. in fact, you were starting to wonder if he could hear anything over his laser focus on the legos.

"hey," you said, nudging him with your foot. "you alright there, esteban? you look like you're about to go into qualifying mode."

he looked up at you, blinking like he'd just snapped out of a trance. "what? oh, yeah, just—wait, where's the piece for the front wing?"

you picked it up from beside him and handed it over. "here. you're getting a bit too into this, don’t you think?"

he smirked, giving a quick shrug. "it’s a race, no? besides, i’m here to show you how it’s done."

you raised an eyebrow. "oh really? last time i checked, you were the one struggling to find the right pieces."

“don’t act like you’re not intimidated by my lego skills,” he teased, snapping the front wing into place with ridiculous precision. “i’m about to make this thing look like a real car.”

you laughed, watching as he clicked another piece into place. "sure, but we both know your real talent is behind the wheel."

"and on the lego track, apparently," he said, his grin widening. "but yeah, ollie and i—it's gonna be a killer season with haas. we’ve got chemistry already. the car feels good, and i’ve been helping him get settled. we’re both pushing each other."

you couldn’t help but smile at how invested he was in not just the car, but also the team dynamic. "you two gonna be unstoppable this season?"

"absolutely." esteban's eyes sparkled with that signature intensity. "and when we’re not fighting for positions on the track, we’ll be fighting for the best lego car at the end of the night."

he gestured to the near-complete haas car in front of him. you tilted your head, inspecting his work. "not bad, ocon. this looks pretty good."

"not bad?" he repeated, arching an eyebrow. "this is perfect. i’m practically a lego engineer."

you chuckled, adjusting a small piece that was slightly off-center. "i hate to break it to you, but your sidepod’s a little crooked."

"what?!" esteban turned, eyes wide. he immediately started fidgeting with the sidepod, mumbling in frustration. "this can’t be happening. it’s not my fault, the instructions are all wrong!"

you raised a hand, feigning innocence. "hey, if you need help, i'm here."

he sighed dramatically, but then grinned. "fine, fine. maybe you know a thing or two."

as you both worked, the car slowly began to look like a proper haas—sleek, powerful, and ready to tackle whatever challenge came its way. esteban placed the tiny driver figure in the seat and leaned back, admiring the finished product.

"not bad for a couple of rookies," he said with a smirk.

"rookies?" you teased, nudging him. "last time i checked, you're a veteran."

"don’t remind me," he muttered, but there was a playful glint in his eyes. "i’ll take the veteran status when it’s time to win, not when i’m dealing with legos."

you both sat back, taking in your creation.

"so," you asked, "who’s gonna take pole position in the lego world?"

esteban raised a brow, clearly enjoying the playful challenge. "obviously, me."

you grinned. "we’ll see about that. next time, we do a real race."

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୨ৎ ollie bearman

ollie was leaning over his nearly finished lego haas car, squinting at the tiny details. he’d been quietly focusing, but his attention seemed to shift as he spotted something. with a grin, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plush bear—one that was probably about as big as the driver figure in the car.

"hold on," ollie said, eyes glinting with mischief. "i’ve got the perfect touch to make this car legendary."

you raised an eyebrow as ollie carefully placed the tiny bear in the driver’s seat of the lego car, next to the little plastic figure. “seriously? you’re putting a bear in your f1 car?”

“yep,” ollie said proudly, smoothing down the bear’s little paws as he adjusted it. “this is my secret weapon. a lucky bear.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. “so, you think your haas is gonna be faster because of a bear?”

ollie leaned back, admiring his work. “exactly. you’d be surprised how much extra speed a bear brings to the table.”

“uh-huh,” you said, chuckling. “and how do you know this?”

he gave you a wink. “let’s just say the bear’s been with me through some wild races. and, well, we’re a package deal now.”

you stared at the bear sitting there in the lego car, grinning. “you’re actually serious about this?”

ollie nodded with mock seriousness. “mate, you’ve got to believe in the power of the bear. it’s the most powerful underdog move I’ve got.”

"alright, well," you said, leaning back and crossing your arms, "i guess that makes your car the bear necessities of the lego world."

ollie cracked up at the pun, clearly proud of your pun game. "i see what you did there. clever."

he took a step back to admire the car, as though it was the most normal thing in the world to have a plush bear in a race car. "now that’s what i’m talking about. this car is gonna win the lego world championship."

you raised an eyebrow. "we'll see if your bear can handle the speed."

ollie gave the little bear a quick pat on the head, then turned to you with a playful grin. “don’t underestimate it. next time, we’re racing. and when my haas wins, you’ll have to acknowledge the bear’s power.”

“fine, fine,” you laughed. “but don’t say i didn’t warn you when my car blows past yours.”

ollie gave you a mock salute, already too invested in his plush-powered vehicle. “we’ll see, mate. just remember, you’ve got no chance when the bear’s behind the wheel.”

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୨ৎ lance stroll

lance was crouched on the floor, his hands moving with surprising precision as he snapped pieces together on his lego aston martin car. the intense focus in his eyes was almost the same as when he was in the car during a race—every move calculated, every piece placed with care. it was clear that this was going to be the perfect lego build.

"you know," he said, not looking up from his work, "this might actually be harder than driving a real f1 car."

you raised an eyebrow, smirking. “you’ve got to be kidding. you’re building legos, not doing a race.”

lance glanced up, his expression serious, but you could see the glint of mischief in his eyes. “hey, it’s all about precision, okay? every piece has to be in the right place, or it’s like losing a few tenths on track. just doesn’t work.”

you chuckled, watching him intently as he worked. “you’re really taking this seriously, huh?”

he gave you a playful, almost smug grin. “someone’s gotta bring the winning attitude to the table. i’m just making sure this thing’s perfect. no shortcuts.”

“no shortcuts?” you teased, leaning over to inspect his work. “you sure about that? i think you’ve missed a piece back there.”

lance immediately straightened up, frowning as he checked the spot you pointed to. "what? no way…" he muttered under his breath, and sure enough, a piece was slightly out of place. he let out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head. "great, can’t even build a lego car without messing it up. might as well be qualifying for a race right now, huh?"

you grinned. "it’s all part of the process, babe"

he flashed you a look as he fixed the mistake. “process or not, this thing’s gonna be perfect. mark my words."

“perfect, huh?” you said, rolling your eyes. “we’ll see when we race these lego cars. i’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“oh, i don’t doubt it,” lance said, giving you a knowing smile as he clicked another piece into place. “but trust me, my aston martin’s gonna blow yours away.”

you crossed your arms, feigning seriousness. “i’m not so sure about that. mine’s got better aerodynamics.”

“pfft,” lance scoffed, not missing a beat. “aerodynamics? babe, this is a lego car, not an actual f1 car. it’s all about the driver’s focus.”

you laughed. “oh, i see. it’s all about the driver now, huh?”

“of course,” he said with a grin, clearly enjoying himself. “i can’t be having my lego car losing to yours, can i?”

you leaned back, arms folded. “we’ll see about that when it’s time for the race.”

lance finished up the final details on his lego car, smoothing out a few edges. he gave it a quick once-over and nodded in satisfaction.

“there,” he said proudly, sitting back to admire his work. “done. now that’s what i call a winning build.”

you took a quick glance at your own lego car, still in progress. “you sure about that?”

“positive,” lance said, leaning over to check yours out. “looks good, but i’m confident mine’s faster.”

you raised an eyebrow, your competitive side kicking in. “you want to put that to the test?”

“oh, i thought you’d never ask,” he replied with a smirk. “bring it on. my aston martin is ready for the track.”

you both leaned in, preparing for the “race,” with lance already planning his victory speech. the playful tension was thick in the air as you positioned the cars on either end of the table.

“ready to lose?” lance asked, his tone light, but with that familiar competitive spark.

“we’ll see who’s really the one losing, stroll,” you shot back, and with that, the lego race was on.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ fernando alonso

fernando sat on the floor, a serious look on his face as he examined the lego pieces laid out in front of him. his brow furrowed slightly as he picked up the pieces, inspecting each one with the kind of focus you'd expect from a veteran driver gearing up for a race. there was no casual attitude here—he was all in.

“this is more complicated than i thought,” fernando muttered to himself, snapping a piece into place.

you leaned over, watching as he worked, clearly in his element. “i thought you were used to high pressure situations.”

“this is different,” fernando replied without looking up. “f1 cars don’t have tiny pieces like these to put together.”

you grinned, a bit amused by how seriously he was taking it. “it’s just legos, fernando. relax a little.”

he looked up at you, his gaze cool but playful. “you think i can relax when there’s a lego car in front of me? it needs precision, just like an f1 car. one wrong move and it could all fall apart.”

“yeah, and i’m sure a little bit of pressure will make you build the best lego car ever,” you teased.

he smirked, snapping a piece into place with the speed and precision you’d expect from someone who’s mastered the art of fast decisions. “that’s the plan.”

as fernando continued to build, you noticed how quickly he was getting into the zone. it was almost like he was back in the cockpit of a car, moving seamlessly from one step to the next. you couldn’t help but watch in awe.

“impressive,” you said after a few moments of silence. “you’ve got this down.”

“i’ve done this before,” fernando said, his voice smooth and confident. “except it wasn’t lego. but the idea is the same—each piece counts.”

you raised an eyebrow, half-joking. “are you sure you’re not overthinking this? it’s just legos.”

“there’s no such thing as ‘just legos’ when you’re trying to create perfection,” he said, clearly not backing down from his approach. “every detail matters.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at how serious he was about the whole thing. “you’re really taking this as seriously as a race.”

he met your gaze, eyes glinting. “why shouldn’t I? if you’re going to do something, do it right. if not, what’s the point?”

you gave him a playful side-eye. “so no shortcuts, huh?”

“no shortcuts,” he confirmed, a grin spreading across his face as he placed the final piece on his car. he straightened up and surveyed his work, nodding to himself. “done.”

you leaned in to take a look at his completed lego car. it was sleek and solid, just like you expected. “not bad, fernando. looks like your focus paid off.”

“of course,” he said, leaning back and stretching. “this is what happens when you treat legos with the same respect as a race car.”

you smiled. “alright, alright. but can your lego car actually race?”

fernando raised an eyebrow. “it’s built for speed. trust me, this is going to beat whatever you’ve got.”

you grinned, shaking your head. “we’ll see about that. i’m not going easy on you.”

he chuckled, his competitive edge still sharp. “i wouldn’t expect anything less.”

as you both prepared for the final “race” between your cars, fernando gave you one last look, his eyes sharp and full of that familiar fire. “ready to lose?”

“we’ll see,” you said with a smile, lining up your cars for what was about to be an epic lego showdown.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ liam lawson

liam sat on the floor, a lego instruction manual spread out in front of him and pieces scattered everywhere. his brows furrowed in concentration as he snapped together small parts, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. the vibe was pretty relaxed—after all, he was a guy who knew how to handle intense moments, whether it was on track or with legos.

“this doesn’t seem right,” liam muttered, inspecting a piece of his lego car with suspicion.

you leaned over, glancing at his progress. “you’re sure you’re following the instructions? seems like it’s a bit… off.”

he glanced up, his face breaking into a grin. “instructions? pfft, i’m just free-styling here. it’s all about the feel.”

“free-styling, huh?” you laughed. “well, that explains why the car’s looking a little… creative.”

liam raised an eyebrow. “hey, no one said a lego f1 car had to look perfect. i’m building with personality.”

you smirked and leaned back. “personality? i think you’ve got a bit too much personality going on there.”

he chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. “alright, alright. maybe i missed a piece. but hey, i’ve got this. vcarb is all about resilience, right?”

“vcarb, huh?” you teased. “starting to sound like you're trying to work some team spirit into this lego build.”

liam shrugged, snapping another piece into place. “well, you know, after joining up with isack, i figured i could at least carry the spirit of the team wherever i go. even if it’s just legos.”

you raised an eyebrow. “you’ve only been with vcarb for a minute. are you sure you’re ready to bring the team spirit into a lego race?”

“hey, i’ve had enough experience with chaos and speed to know how to pull it all together,” liam said, grinning. “besides, i’m building a car that’s meant to win.”

you looked over at the lego car he was putting together. it was definitely taking shape, even if it was a little… unique in its approach. “that’s what you keep telling me. but can it actually race?”

liam’s eyes sparkled with confidence. “you’d better believe it. when it’s time to race, this thing’s going straight to the front. just like vcarb.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. “you’re a bit too confident about your lego skills.”

“nah,” liam said, snapping the final piece into place. “this is pure genius. i’m a natural at this.”

he sat back to admire his work, a look of satisfaction on his face as he surveyed the completed car. it looked like it could survive a crash, but you weren’t entirely sure it was the fastest lego car in the world.

“there we go,” he said with a grin. “that’s what i’m talking about. vcarb speed.”

you leaned over, inspecting his finished product. “well, it definitely has… character.”

“exactly,” liam said, flashing a cheeky smile. “you can’t have a fast car without a bit of flair.”

“flair, huh?” you raised an eyebrow. “we’ll see if that helps you win.”

“oh, it’ll help,” he said confidently. “just wait until we race these things. i’m gonna show you how vcarb handles speed.”

you smiled. “we’ll see about that. just don’t be too disappointed when my car blows past yours.”

liam shot you a playful look. “we’ll see, but i have a feeling your car’s not gonna stand a chance against this.”

“don’t get too cocky, liam,” you said with a grin. “the race is still on.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ isack hadjar

isack sat across from you, focused on the spread of lego pieces in front of him. the young driver’s eyes were intense, as though he was analyzing the parts the way he would a racing setup, trying to figure out how everything fit together for the fastest result. he was definitely the type who liked to get things just right.

“you know, this is harder than it looks,” he muttered, squinting at the instructions as he carefully clicked a piece into place.

you raised an eyebrow, leaning over to check his progress. “you’re really treating this like an actual race, huh?”

isack glanced at you and shrugged, his face calm but his eyes sharp with focus. “when you’re in vcarb, everything’s about precision. even building a lego car.”

you couldn’t help but chuckle. “i’m sure liam’s not treating his lego car with the same intensity. he’s probably got a plush bear in his.”

“liam’s got his own style,” isack said with a small smirk. “but for me, it’s about getting it right.”

you watched him carefully place each piece, his methodical approach almost like watching a pit crew during a race, making sure every part was aligned perfectly. “it’s like you’re building a f1 car in miniature.”

he glanced up at you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “if only it was that easy. but hey, a lego car can still teach you a lot about patience.”

you leaned back in your chair, smirking. “patience, huh? i thought you were more about speed.”

“you can’t have speed without precision,” he replied, his voice calm but firm as he clicked another piece into place. “rushing doesn’t work in racing. and it doesn’t work with legos either.”

you shook your head with a grin. “you’re seriously going full-on race mode with this.”

isack shot you a playful look. “i’m always in race mode.”

you raised an eyebrow. “we’ll see how that works out when we race these cars. you’ve got all that precision, but does it actually make your car faster?”

“don’t doubt it,” he said confidently, pausing for a second to glance at his almost-finished lego car. “this thing’s going to be fast.”

you leaned in closer, inspecting the lego car carefully. it was sleek, clean, and well-constructed—definitely built with care. "looks like it might actually give mine a run for its money."

isack didn’t even look up, his hands still working quickly but steadily. “it’s not about just looking good. it’s about performance.”

"so, you're telling me your lego car is going to perform?" you teased, giving him a sideways glance.

“exactly,” he said with a soft grin. “a well-built car will always outperform one that’s just thrown together.”

you laughed, appreciating the effort he was putting into this. “alright, you’re on. but don’t be too shocked when my car beats yours.”

isack shot you a confident look. “we’ll see about that. when it comes to racing, vcarb doesn’t lose.”

he clicked the last piece into place and sat back, admiring the finished product with satisfaction. “there we go. now that’s what i call a masterpiece.”

you took a moment to check out the finished lego car. it was clearly designed for speed. "not bad, Hadjar. you might just have a future in lego racing."

he gave you a small nod, his competitive edge still sharp. “it’s all about balance. precision, patience, and speed.”

“right,” you said with a grin, “just don’t get too cocky when i beat you in the race.”

“oh, trust me,” he said, his voice calm and confident. “i won’t.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ pierre gasly

pierre sat cross-legged on the floor, the lego pieces scattered in front of him, a look of quiet focus on his face. the competitive energy was there, but it wasn’t the high-octane, race-ready kind—it was more of a calm, methodical kind of determination. he clicked a piece into place, leaned back, and surveyed his work.

“you know, i’m pretty sure my lego car is already ahead of yours,” pierre said, glancing over at you with that playful, confident grin of his.

you shot him a look, trying to suppress a smile. “is that so? i think you might be getting ahead of yourself there.”

pierre raised an eyebrow, still working on his car but never losing that casual, self-assured vibe. “it’s all about precision. i don’t build things just to watch them fall apart.”

he snapped another piece into place, his fingers moving quickly and efficiently. “unlike some people,” he added, giving you a teasing glance.

“excuse me? i’m just taking my time. rushing doesn’t always work out, you know?” you said, shooting him a grin. “maybe you should slow down a bit.”

pierre chuckled. “rushing? no. i’m just working with a bit of confidence here. there’s a difference.”

“uh-huh, confidence,” you teased, leaning closer to see what he was doing. “is that what you call it? it looks like you’re just really into this whole thing.”

he flashed you a quick, sly smile. “well, if you want your lego car to look like it was built by someone who actually knows what they’re doing, you’ve come to the right person.”

you rolled your eyes, laughing. “i think you’re taking this a bit too seriously, but fine. i’ll let you think you’ve got the advantage. for now.”

pierre paused for a moment to look over at your progress, smirking. “not bad, not bad. but if you want to beat me, you’ll need to step it up.”

“you really think you’re going to win this thing?” you challenged, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow.

“of course,” pierre said, leaning back and looking at his near-finished car. “just like on the track, i’m always going for the win.”

his fingers moved deftly as he put the final pieces together, clicking them in place with ease. “done,” he said with a satisfied grin, looking at you. “what do you think?”

you inspected his lego car, which looked sleek and well-constructed—just like he said, it had that careful precision. “i’ll give it to you, it looks pretty good. but don’t get too cocky, i’m not done yet.”

pierre leaned back, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at you with a half-smile. “you’ve got a bit of catching up to do, but i’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“i’ll show you,” you said, putting your focus back on your own lego car. “you might have finished first, but this is far from over.”

pierre chuckled, clearly enjoying the playful banter. “we’ll see who wins when it’s race time.”

you both lined up your cars, a playful tension in the air. pierre gave you one last teasing look before the race began. "prepare to lose."

you smirked. "we’ll see about that, gasly."

and just like that, the lego race was on.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ jack doohan

jack sat on the floor, a lego instruction manual in one hand and a pile of pieces scattered in front of him. his focus was intense, but there was a hint of a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as he worked, clearly enjoying the challenge more than he was letting on.

“this thing’s gonna be perfect,” jack said, snapping another piece into place with a satisfying click. “i’ve got it all figured out.”

you glanced over at his progress and raised an eyebrow. “is that so? it looks a little… lopsided to me.”

he shot you a playful glare, but didn’t miss a beat as he continued assembling the lego car. “it’s called ‘character,’” he said, his voice light and teasing. “you wouldn’t understand.”

“‘character,’ huh?” you laughed. “or is it just that you’re rushing to finish first?”

jack smirked, not looking up from his work. “hey, there’s no rushing when you know what you’re doing. it’s all about precision. just wait, this thing’s gonna be a masterpiece.”

you watched him carefully add another piece to his lego car. “sure, sure. but don’t be too surprised when my car beats yours.”

“oh, i’m not worried,” jack said, still grinning. “you might have a head start, but i’ve got the advantage. i’ve got the doohan touch, you know?”

you raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. “the ‘doohan touch,’ huh? is that what you’re calling it?”

“yep,” he said confidently, placing the final piece into place. “it’s all about balance and precision, mate. just like a race car.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at how seriously he was taking it. “well, i guess we’ll see how well that ‘doohan touch’ works in a lego race.”

jack leaned back, admiring his finished lego car. “pretty proud of that one. you’ll see, it’s got speed written all over it.”

you shook your head, teasing him. “speed, huh? let’s just see if it can actually stay together long enough to race.”

jack shot you a playful wink. “don’t worry, mate. i’m confident in my work.”

you took a glance at your own car, still a work in progress. “alright, alright. we’ll see who comes out on top when it’s race time.”

“oh, we will,” jack said, leaning back with a grin that told you he was ready to win. “prepare to lose, though.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. “we’ll see about that, jack. we’ll see.”

you both lined up your lego cars, ready for the ultimate showdown. jack gave you one last cheeky grin before you both prepared for the race. the tension was light, fun, and full of that competitive spark.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ nico hülkenberg

nico hülkenberg sat across from you, his expression focused but relaxed. he had a pile of lego pieces in front of him and an instruction manual open. there was no rush in his movements, just a steady, methodical pace, each piece carefully chosen and snapped into place with precision.

“you know, it’s all about patience,” nico said, glancing over at you as he placed another piece on his lego car. “you can’t rush something like this. you’ve got to get it right.”

you leaned back and crossed your arms, watching him with a raised eyebrow. “i’m pretty sure you’re taking this way too seriously, nico.”

he smiled slightly, the corners of his mouth turning up just enough to show he wasn’t offended by the teasing. “not too seriously. just enough to build a car that actually looks good.”

you glanced down at your own lego car, which was… well, definitely not looking as neat as his. “you’re not worried about the competition, then?”

nico chuckled, a low, smooth sound. “i don’t really get worried. just confident in my skills.”

“confident, huh?” you shot him a sly grin. “we’ll see how that works out when it’s race time.”

“oh, i’m not concerned,” he said with that same calm smile, moving his hands skillfully as he added another piece to his car. “i’ve done this before. racing’s all about consistency, right? well, legos aren’t so different.”

you were about to retort, but then you paused. nico had a point—he was approaching the lego build with the same level of focus and consistency that he brought to racing.

“fair enough,” you said after a moment, feeling a little impressed despite yourself. “you really do bring your race mentality into everything, don’t you?”

“it’s a mindset,” he replied with a shrug, his eyes never leaving the pieces in front of him. “whether it’s racing or building legos, it’s about paying attention to the small details and getting the right outcome.”

you leaned in to inspect his progress. the lego car looked sleek and clean, every piece perfectly placed. “not bad, hülkenberg. i’ll give you that.”

“thanks,” he said, looking up at you with a hint of pride. “but i’m just getting started. wait until you see the final result.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. “i’m not sure your lego car will be able to beat mine.”

nico raised an eyebrow, his smile widening just a little. “oh? you’re sure about that?”

“absolutely,” you said, fully confident despite the perfection of his build. “i’m just getting warmed up.”

nico shook his head, still smiling. “well, we’ll see about that. i’m all about the details, but you can’t forget about speed.”

you looked at your lego car again, already planning your next move. “you’re right about that. but don’t get too cocky.”

“don’t worry,” nico said smoothly, clicking the last piece into place with a final, satisfying snap. “i’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve.”

you looked at his completed lego car—sleek, precise, and definitely built for success. “alright, well, let’s see how that car performs when the race starts.”

nico leaned back, arms crossed, his usual calm but confident demeanor in full force. “i think you’ll be surprised.”

you both lined up your lego cars, the playful rivalry clear in the air. nico’s calm confidence was palpable, and you couldn’t wait to see how it would translate when the race began.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

୨ৎ gabriel bortoleto

gabriel sat across from you, legs crossed, and a pile of lego pieces neatly spread in front of him. his eyes were focused on the instructions in his hands, each movement deliberate as he began to piece the car together. there was a quiet concentration about him, a level of calmness that made it clear this wasn’t his first time doing something like this.

“you know,” gabriel said without looking up, “i’m pretty sure this car is going to be the cleanest build out of all of us.”

you gave him a sideways glance, smirking. “that so? you’re already talking like it’s a done deal.”

he finally looked up, offering a small smile. “it’s not about talking, it’s about getting things done the right way.”

you leaned back and crossed your arms, intrigued. “and how’s that going for you?”

gabriel’s fingers moved swiftly as he snapped another piece into place. “it’s going well,” he replied calmly. “just focusing on one step at a time. no rush.”

you chuckled. “looks like you’re taking this way more seriously than i thought.”

he shrugged lightly. “i don’t do things half-heartedly. if i’m gonna build a lego car, it’s going to be good.”

you took a look at his progress. the car was coming together quickly, each piece fitting perfectly. it was starting to look sleek, just like his racing style—clean and efficient.

“not bad, bortoleto,” you admitted, giving him a nod of approval. “but don’t get too cocky. my car’s going to be faster.”

gabriel raised an eyebrow, a hint of a playful smirk appearing. “faster, huh? we’ll see about that.”

“yep,” you said, leaning forward and studying your own lego car. “just wait until mine’s done.”

gabriel clicked another piece into place, his hands moving quickly and with purpose. “i’m not in a hurry. i’m just building it the right way.”

you tilted your head, genuinely curious. “what makes you so confident?”

he paused for a moment, looking over at you with a slight smile. “i know how to focus on the details. when it’s time to race, it’s the little things that matter.”

you laughed softly. “alright, alright. i see what you mean. but let’s see how that focus works when it comes to beating me.”

gabriel’s expression shifted slightly, a flicker of determination crossing his face. “i don’t underestimate anyone, but i’m confident in how this is going to turn out.”

you watched him for a moment, noticing how calm and controlled he was as he continued working. there was no stress in his movements—just the quiet confidence of someone who knew what they were doing. “well, we’ll see who wins when it’s race time,” you said with a grin.

gabriel finished another section of his car, stepping back to admire it. “it’s all about the details. the perfect combination of speed and precision.”

you laughed. “guess i’ll just have to be faster than you at the finish line.”

gabriel looked at you, a small, amused smile tugging at his lips. “we’ll see about that.”

the two of you lined up your cars, the playful tension between you now palpable. gabriel’s calm confidence stood in stark contrast to your competitive energy, and you both knew the race was about to be more than just a lego challenge.

taglist: @barcapix, @universefcb, @joaosnovia, @ilovebarcaaaa, @levidazai, lmk if you want to be added!

[kakashiislut]

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Dirty Texts - F1 Grid Text Au💋

Characters: Max, Yuki, Lewis, Charles, Carlos, Alex, Lando, Oscar, Kimi, George, Fernando, Lance, Esteban, Oliver, Pierre, Jack, Nico, Gabriel, Isack, Liam.

Warnings: Sexy talk, Freaky shit, A little Sub/Dom stuff going on, not much use of gender.

Author: Hello. There is a Part 2 for off the grid drivers I love <3

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PeePeePooPoo Tag List: @raizelchrysanderoctavius @evie-119 @sugarfreerbr @urmomsgirlfriend1 @copper-boom @formula1fordisater @nic0-hischier @linneagurii @danielricroll @isagrace22 @mimisweetz @msimpala--67 @alex-taylorsvers @iamdedsthingz @vroomingrussell

(Ask to be removed)

[whoisraii]

Even if my heart stops beating...You're the only thing I need with me

☆ : Featuring : All of the drivers present in the 2025 grid ☆ : Synopsis : Them around you while they have a crush on you but you are too oblivious...

☆ : word count : 2.1k

🎧Song for this fic : Pretty Boy ( Chip Chorme and the Monotones)...The Neighbourhood

Note : this is actually my first time writing for all 20 of them so if I don't do justic to one of them I'm so sorry 😭😭

☽・Redbull

max verstappen

You never catch Max being openly affectionate.

But the camera crew does—he’s always glancing around until he spots you.

If you’re laughing with another driver? Suddenly he’s there, acting like it’s just coincidence.

Once he said something almost nice about your outfit, then looked away like he didn’t say anything at all.

“That color doesn’t look bad on you.” “Wait, was that a compliment?” “No. Just an observation. Don’t get weird about it.”

Yuki Tsunoda

Loud, dramatic, hilarious.

Yuki will yank you into comming to the races.

“Please you are good luck to me. I need you to be down there watching me”

He brings you your favorite snacks before every race and insists it’s because he “bought too many.” (He didn’t.)

Whole paddock knows he’s crushing. but you? Blissfully unaware...

You will find your favorite candy waiting for you the second you have a bad day..

“They were on sale. Don’t overthink it.”

☽・Mercedes

George Russell

George treats you like his personal planner—even if you’re just a media coordinator or on a logistics team.

Walks you through every weekend plan, sends you the brief before you ask, and gives pre-interview pep talks like you're going on camera instead of him.

When it rains, he will offer you his umbrella...Even if that means he ends up soaked.

“George, you’re getting drenched.”...“Yes, but you’re not. That’s what matters.”

Andrea Kimi Antonelli

He doesn't flirt he just teases the living hell out of you..

You mispronounce an Italian word once—once—and Kimi never lets it go.

The thing is, he’s always around. Not in an obvious way, but in that quiet, lingering in your peripheral vision way.

He stands close—too close—when he’s talking to you. Shoulder brushing yours. Arms almost touching. But if you lean away or give him a look, he just raises an eyebrow like what? am I in your space? could never be me.

He might tease you...but he will remember your everything...and he will take pictures of you candid stuff which you later find out when he sends you one by mistake..A candid. You, mid-laugh, half-blurry from movement. The corner of his jacket sleeve is visible in the frame.

will smile while you talk to him and maybe get lost in your eyes..too lost maybe..

“What?”..“You were looking at me.”..“No, I was—don’t be weird.”..(Pause)..“You had something on your face.”

☽・Ferrari

Charles Leclerc

Holds you hand to subconciously sometimes...

Gets a bit pouty when the fanbase favours you more but he secretly loves it...

knows your coffee order by heart and gets you coffee every morning...

Doesn't accept it and saty quiet if anyone tries to disrespect you or mistreat you...yeah not on his watch...

"Did you drink enough water today? and did you have breakfast? you skip that meal a lot...like a lot..."

Lewis Hamilton

Keeps it professional on camera but insists producers highlight your work and advocacy...

Makes sure to include you in glitzy events but won’t directly talk about his feelings for you.

Wraps an arm around you in press chaos but immediately acts casual if questioned.

Posts a soft photo of you with a vague caption — as if to say

"I’m here, but I won’t say more.”

☽・Mclaren

Lando Norris

Doesn't flirt with you like he does with others...he just becomes a 12 year old with a crush around you...

Will unplug your mic and act shocked when you notice and always standing behind you during group shots, pulling faces.

Starts every day with “don't tell me what to do” and ends it with “text me when you’re home. I get worried if you don't”

Is in more of your posts than in regular ones which makes the PR go mad..

(Later, during media day) “Lando, can you stop photobombing her instagram?”...“Sorry, I’m her emotional support driver.”

Oscar Piastri

He pays attention...will remember anything and everything you tell him about yourself...your coffee order, favorite books, favorite artist...everything.

He wants to listen to music? He wants to listen it with you...will share earbuds without a second thought...

Will sit beside you the second he has the oppurtunity...

If someone raises their voice at you he will polietly but firmly to keep their tone in check...and most of the times not infront of you...

“Oscar went full lawyer on that journo for you.” you would probably find out form someone on the team...

“You never said.” “Didn’t need to. He was wrong. You deserved better.”

Since he remembers almost everything...you will find coffee or something to cheer you up the second you have a bad day...

“You didn’t have to bring me tea…”..“You sounded tired. Figured you wouldn’t stop for yourself.”

☽・Aston Martin

Fernando Alonso

Will subtly shake his head all the time while maintaining eye contact with you while you speak

Also asks you to be there in the garages while he srives because he sees you as his lucky charm...

He would never admit it but things you give him are always kept safely and a keychain you gave him is always on his backpack because it reminds him of you...

If anyone tries to get dissmisive about you job title or say anything bad abt you...He wont think twice before speaking up and sometimes maybe not so politely...

“If you don’t know her role, you shouldn’t be asking questions.”

Lance Stroll

He might be the most nonchalant guy to others but he laughs the hardest the second you make a joke...even if its dumb or stupid...

The one to buy you your favorite snacks in bulk and just keep then with him in case you are ever hungry..

And he will stick to you because to him you are his comfort person...

You might see him scribbling your name in his notes and stuff...its subconcious but its just him...

“You wrote my name?” “It’s not weird! I mean—it’s just for luck. Like… positive manifestation. Or whatever.”

☽・Williams

Alex Albon

He's tall so he walks fast but when you're walking with him...he will slow down his pace to just match with yours so you can walk more comfortably...

If its your first time at a grand prix...he will try his hardest to make sure absolutely nothing goes wrong for you...

Picking at eachother is deffinately the love language between you both...but he would never cross the line...

If he ever notices you skipping breakfast or any meal of the day...he will make sure to carry something with him so that he can hand it to you immediatly when it looks like you're hungry...

If you have anything big comming up for you and you're nervous...he will slide you notes and pretend that they were absolutely not from him...

“‘Knock ‘em dead, superstar’? What happened to ruthless sarcasm?” “Who let you see that? I was trying to be mysterious and emotionally unavailable.” “Too late. Your soft side is showing.” “Damn. I knew I should’ve written ‘Don’t trip on camera.’”

Carlos Sainz

Will run to you the second he feels even a minescule spec of stress...he calls you his 'calming presence' because your voice feels so calm...

Will send you his song recomendations...

Is probably the kind of guy to beg you to get song widgets where you can pick out songs for eachother when it reminds you of eachother...

Would'nt think twice before offering you his jacket with a small smirk and nodd...

“You remembered my favorite artist?” “Of course. I listen when you talk. That’s what friends do...Especially the special ones.”

☽・Haas

Oliver Bearman

He will drop everything and run to you the second he spotts you...unless its very important or work related...

Will repeat the complements you give him under his breath just to relieve the happiness of what you had just said...

He gets visibly happy when you say "see you later" even if its a part of rouine at this point...

He will cling to you like a koala and see you as his comfort person...

Also sees you as his lucky charm so asking you to be his plus one in gps is the most normal thing...

Remembers your orders and your favorite songs by heart...

“Ollie, breathe. It’s just lunch.” “Right. Normal. Casual. Totally regular human food consumption...You know, if it were just us forever, I’d be fine with that.”

Estaban Ocon

Will hold everything for you...the door...the umbrella...your sanity...

Will get you an extra pass so that you can come watch him race..and will panic if he forgets to get you one by any chance

Also knows your coffee order, food orders and schedule like its the back of his hand...

will strict heartedly follow the sidewalk rule...

If you have a bad day and he gets to know about it...expect him to get you your favorite takeout and ask if you want to have a movie night at his with him...

"why do you always make me drink water and get me food?" “Because you forget to eat when you're stressed… and you always leave your water bottle behind.” “So you’re stalking me for hydration purposes?” “Exactly. I'm a very noble stalker.”

☽・Racing bulls

Liam Lawson

Liam will give you nickanames that only he has rights to use...if anyone uses them...he will make sure that he makes it a point that only he can call you that...

He will carry some of your favorite snacks with him always in case you miss a meal or are genuinly hungry...

He will pretend to trip over his feet just so you can check up on him...

Calls you his 'lucky charm' and will cling to you...

Gifts you stuff...and makes sure nothing wrong happens to you...

“Did you seriously bring me gummy bears?” “You said you liked them once. In January. Of last year.” “So this is… thoughtful stalking?” “No! It’s called long-term strategic snacking...…Also I needed an excuse to talk to you today.”

Isack Hadjar

Isack will always be at the corner of your eye...everyone knows if you are somewhere he is nearby...

He wears the friendship bracelet you gave him like its a sacred thread...if anyone tries to touch it...he will yank his hand away...every single picture...its there on his hand...all the time...

Somehow always ends up holding your watter bottle or jacket or lanyard...he will say that you maybe lost it and hes just here to return...but its obvious that he has been holding it for about thirty minutes or so...

Remembers your coffee order and favorite songs...he will share his earbuds with you...

He would never flirt directly...but the second you say that you are cold...his hoodie is in your hands before you can even complete the sentence...

“You okay? You’re twitchier than usual.” “Didn’t sleep much.” “Why not?” “Was trying to figure out how to talk to you without sounding like an idiot.”

☽・Alpine

Peirre Gasly

Is convinced that you are his soulmate...he will flirt with you...and smile at you the entire time you talk with him...

Calls you 'sunshine' because he thinks you bring hope to him...

Will act offended if Simba likes you more but secretly loves you playing with Simba...

He will send you flowers under a fake name but then ask if you liked them...

"Liked the flowers on your doorstep this morning sunshine?" "That was you?"

Jack Doohan

Jack is the defination of 'Act cool. Panic later'

He is all soft smiles and hopeful glances, pretending he’s totally chill around you while in reality...he’s memorized every conversation...rehearsed his jokes, and 100% lies awake replaying the way you laughed at something he said three weeks ago.

Shows up with spare team merch "just lying around" and melts when you wear it

Gets adorably tounge tied if you complement him...say "you look nice today" with that soft smile and watch him trip over a cord or somthing while smiling...

The inside of his notebook has one scribble in the margin that reads: “Ask her out before the season ends. Please.”

You catch him staring sometimes, not in a cocky way, but like he’s just genuinely stunned you exist near him.

“She’s just… I don’t know. She makes everything feel less chaotic.

☽・Kick Sauber

Nico Hulkenberg

Is a little bit grumpy about everything except you....

He will say something like "you again?" but immediately make some space for you so you can sit...

leaves his jacket on your chair by "accident" when ever its cold...

leves you little notes in the jacket pockets...

"media days dont suck if shes there..."

Gabriel Bortoleto

blushes if you talk to him...blushes if you stand close to him...blushes if you smile...blushes if you wave...basically a blushing mss when it comes to you...

Will ask you to be in the garages during the race and reassures himself with a “Breathe. She’s here.”

Will give you his water bottle if you can't find your with two hands like a nervous kid giving yo a flower..

also wears the bracelet you gave him like a sacred thread...

"please come to the race...you help me keep my sanity down there..."

©WHOISRAII 2025 ━ do not copy, steal, post somewhere else or translate my work without my permission.

[silversurfersx]

media duties | f1grid pt.2

part 1

f1 grid x driver!reader [smau] - part 2

summary: the reader does anything to escape her media duties

faceclaim: Jamie chadwick and random peopke I found on ointerest

warnings: swearing, theoretical violence

liked by georgerussel63, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername: got a visitor in the paddock today😊 he had the cooler car 😔

view comments

user: is alex ok?

user: what happened in slide 3???

alex_albon: why did you post this?

yourusername: bc auggie is adorable alex_albon: obviously, but that's not what I meant yourusername: oh you mean me hitting you with my car... yeah, that's meant as a threat for everyone alex_albon: what for? yourusername: leading Netflix to my secret hideout alex_albon: you were hiding in the Haas hospitality with Auggie and the Haas kids yourusername: yeah I couldn't understand a word those two said

user: ah yes...

user: is it weird that I'm jealous of auggie's car?

user: no, cause same

___

Auggie cruised in his Spiderman toy car in front of you through the paddock. In high pitched squeaks he imitated motor noises.

Chuckling at the small boy, you followed along grabbing your phone from your pocket when you felt a ping. Looking down you saw Alex's message about Netflix wanting to film a segment once again.

'I can't, I gotta take care of auggie, sorry'

You texted back, looking for another excuse, as you knew that taking care of Auggie wasn't the best excuse, as there were enough people at Williams who could look after your nephew for an hour. They did when you raced as well.

Your eyes moved over the paddock, stopping on Nico Hulkenberg kneeling alongside his daughter, who was Auggie's age.

"Auggie, what do you think about making a new friend?"

The blonde boy turned back, quickly hitting the brakes of his toy car. "A new friend?"

"Yeah, you see that girl over there?" You nodded at the small girl, whose name you never really learned. "She looks nice, doesn't she?"

"Yes! Do you think she wants to be my friend?" The boy asked eyes wide in question. You shrugged. "Maybe we could go and ask."

"Yes!"

___

___

"Y/N what are your plans for next year?" The media person asked rising to their feat in the crowd of reporters during the press conference.

Slowly you lifted the microphone up to your lips. "I don't know."

"You were seen in the Haas hospitality earlier today. Was it contract related or did you hide from someone again?" They asked which was followed by chuckles from everyone in the room.

Smiling you answered. "I was hiding."

Again chuckles erupted.

"Did you get caught?" Max interrupted from next to you on the couch. Laughing you nodded. "Yeah, Alex told on me."

"Ah, you shouldn't have told him." Max reprimanded you.

"Yeah, I know." You nodded. "But I hit him with my car, so now we're even." You argumented, ignoring the wide eyes from the media. Yuki grinned from beside Max, who couldn't hide his own amusement.

"That seems alright then." Max replied.

"If i may interrupt and go back to my initial question." The reporter interrupted. "Y/N, what are your plans for next year, do you have a new contract in sight?"

"Not really." You shrugged. It was a lie, but it wasn't any of their business, yet and you didn't even know if t would work out.

___

liked by sebastianvettel, francolapinto, williamsracing and others

yourusername: a great honour to be able to join seb and his crew!❤

It was an absolute honour meeting you, seb and all the people who worked this project. I am proud to have been part of this!!!🇧🇷🤩🥰

SennaForver 🇧🇷🇧🇷

view comments

user: absolutely beautiful what you did

user: we love seb!

user: senna forever!!!

sebastianvettel: it was an honour to have you join us as well❤ [liked by yoursusername]

alex_albon: so this is where you went?

___

___

It was only logical that a day would come, where you were actually late for media duties, though no one believed you. Your constant lying about your whereabouts during media duties finally got to you.

"Where did you hide out this time?" Alex greeted you when you ran on stage for the fan event. "I didn't, I swear, I fell asleep and forgot to set an alarm."

Alex looked at you suspiciously, not quite believing you. "Was it Max?"

"No, I swear, I slept in." You tried to reassure. Looking out at the crowd you tried to convince them. "Sorry guys, but I swear I did sleep."

Laughs filled the crowd at you attempts of convincing.

"Was that a 'we believe you'- laugh?" You asked receiving once again a similar laugh. Leaning back to look at the Alpine boys who were with you. "Are they laughing at me or with me?"

"I think at you." Pierre teased and Esteban joined. "I would too."

"At least I know I'm funny." You replied, grinning.

Alex leaned towards you, putting the microphone away from his mouth. "Did you actually sleep in?"

"Yes, I swear." You replied.

___

___

liked by landonorris, alexalbon, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername: I swear guys i played too much sims and fell asleep... also I got a special helmet ⛑️

view comments

user: she's out here fighting for her life, haha

user: happens to the best of us

user: damn, she's fighting harder than when she's escaping Netflix

landonorris: did u feed me?

yourusername: i let you drown in the pool, lol landonorris: what 🙂 yourusername: oscar was really sad oscarpiastri: nah landonorris: 🥲 yourusername: that's rough

alexalbon: but did you?

yourusername: 🤡

user: sick helmet ⛑️

user: are we all just gonna ignore lando?

yourusername: ignoring him is always the safest option 👍

___

Drive to Survive interview:

"Hello, my name is Y/N Y/LN and I am racing for Williams Racing." You closed the clap with a tight smile, the bright lights surrounding you blinded you.

"Okay, great, it's good to finally catch you." The reporter announced making you unwillingly smile. "Yeah, you guys are very adamant, just wouldn't give up."

"We promise to keep it short for you." The woman laughed.

"Grand."

"Where did you hide this time?" The question continued.

"At Aston."

"Is it nice there?" The woman said as the interview continued.

"It's very green."

"Oh, I bet. How are you finding this season as it is slowly ending? What are your plans for next season, there are only a handful of seats left?" The interviewer pressed as you shifted in your seat knowing what she was out for. Carlos took your Williams seat for next year, so the question arises, 'what should you do?'.

Obviously you were in talks with a few people, looking over the open seats and even at spots in other categories like wec.

"It's been crazy, but I know what I'm doing."

"So you got a plan?" The woman asked curiously. "Is it for vcarb? They've been looking at you, I've heard."

You shrugged pursing your lips . "RedBull sugar free? Who knows."

"You're really not giving us anything, aren't you?" She interviewer chuckled and you smiled cockily.

"Nope." You looked over the camera personal, as the interviewer searched her notes. "Are we finished? Do you just cut to some dramatic scenes of me now?"

The lady shook her head chuckling. "Not quite, sorry."

Internally sighing in disappointment you nodded.

"Alright."

___

[CAPTION] thank you Charles (my secret santa) for the invisability cloak, now I can hide even better☺️🧙‍♀️

charles_leclerc: you are welcome ☺️🥰 yourusername: 😘

[astonmartinii]

bandwagon | esteban ocon social media au

pairing: esteban ocon x fem wife!reader

a certain haircut has people seeing what was already there, not to the amusement of a certain someone

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman and 108,983 others

tagged: estebanocon

yourusername: a cosy weekend with my love

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user3: i always thought he was massively batting… but turns out she was in for the long game

user4: she made an early investment

user5: see saw the bank account and then the face and thought, work can be done here

yourusername: are you ready to die?

user6: HUH????

yourusername: talk like that about my husband again and you’ll be hearing from my lawyer

yourusername: at my assault trial

user7: period.

estebanocon: nothing better in the world

yourusername: not even racing

estebanocon: not even racing

yourusername: omg he really is in love

estebanocon: i didn’t give you my last name for no reason

yourusername: right back at you handsome

user8: every time i remember that they both went double-barrelled a fairy GAINS their wings

user9: the way it doesn’t show on the timing tower but he insists that the media addresses him as such

estebanocon: i am incredibly proud of my wife, why wouldn’t i want to show off her name?

yourusername: SWOON

user10: okay … like now i get it

user11: no seriously he’s looking so good

user12: i guess that girlfriend/wife effect is real

yourusername: choke

estebanocon: cherie…

yourusername: you’re hot as fuck and i’m so annoyed that these cretins can talk on you like this

lancestroll: you might wanna let the haas PR team know that you’re stunting on hoes

yourusername: nothing some brownies won’t fix

estebanocon: i’m pretty sure they love her more than they love me

olliebearman: that’s my big sister for real

haasf1team: we’re prepared to look the other way… nothing to see here

olliebearman

liked by kimiantonelli, charles_leclerc and 308,934 others

tagged: yourusername & estebanocon

olliebearman: i guess a couples trip to france can make that country bearable

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user13: the haasbros are so dear to me

user14: este and y/n really are the big brother and sister ollie needed coming into the sport

user15: alicia always looks so uncomfortable in the paddock until y/n gets there, i love them all

user16: really the most underrated group in the paddock

yourusername: nice pun !!!

estebanocon: he’s trashing my country???

yourusername: baby he’s english, that’s like his god given right

estebanocon: you’re english ?

yourusername: but i love you

estebanocon: and the rest of france….

yourusername: fuck no - i love YOU

yourusername: i don’t have love to waste on the rest of them, it’s all reserved for you

estebanocon: awwwwwww thanks baby

pierregasly: ???

isackhadjar: ???

yourusername: wait isack, we love you don’t worry

isackhadjar: PHEW

pierregasly: and me???

yourusername: no comment.

user17: oh y/n really said brazil 24’ might have solved the tension for yall, but not for me

user18: so real of her

yourusername: woah one sec, i don’t hate pierre, this is just how our relationship is - the real villain here is and always will be alpine f1 team (i’ll avenge you jack)

charles_leclerc: am i being cheated on ???

yourusername: that sounds very incestuous

charles_leclerc: you know what i mean, give me back my child

yourusername: you can have him back, he lets us pay for everything

olliebearman: you’re the older ones :(

yourusername: you’re like 19 and a millionaire - what happened to looking out for your elders?

estebanocon: we gotta help him out while he still wants us

olliebearman: I’LL ALWAYS WANT YOU GUYS WTF

user19: esteban is looking… good?

yourusername: first of all, drop that question mark, he’s beautiful. second of all, delete that common and block him please

estebanocon: y/n???

yourusername: you’re mine and they can’t start thirsting now - you’ve always been fine

estebanocon

liked by olliebearman, jackdoohan and 458,340 others

tagged: yourusername & olliebearman

estebanocon: points points points and points for ollie! grazie suzuka, see you again next year!

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user22: omg the last photo

user23: dare i say top three threesome on the grid

yourusername: before i block you on both mine and esteban’s account, let me tell you this: GET THE FUCK OUT AND KEEP MY HUSBAND AND LITTLE BROTHER’S NAMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH

user24: oh she is bare unprofessional

yourusername: i really don’t care, i accidentally became so important at work they won’t fire me and i know this lowkey turns este on

estebanocon: i will neither confirm nor deny

olliebearman: MY EYES

haasf1team: let’s gooooooooo esteban

estebanocon: thanks team! let’s keep building on this 💪

yourusername: woooooooooooooooooo !!! expect brownies in bahrain

haasf1team: perhaps the best news of the day

estebanocon: so my p5 means nothing?

haasf1team: of course!!!!! but y/n’s brownies are generational

estebanocon: yeah you do have a great point

user25: so is that why she gets away with being so rude to fans

haasf1team: y/n is the nicest person ever, so if she’s being ‘mean’ to you, it’s probably on you

user26: y/n got the streets so bad that the official haas team account out here defending her for telling fans to fuck off

user27: i can’t omg 😭

charles_leclerc: at least someone benefitted from my misfortune

estebanocon: thank you? idk what you really want me to say here… i’m sorry?

charles_leclerc: no i am genuinely happy for you

yourusername: are you fishing for some brownies?

charles_leclerc: no!

yourusername: you walked past haas hospitality three times loudly talking about brownies…

charles_leclerc: sue me, they are good enough that we can excuse you fighting people left, right and centre

yourusername: woah i am sorry i LOVE my husband

estebanocon: i love you too xxxx

charles_leclerc: can i have some brownies or not?

yourusername: fine.

user28: i love how her fighting fans is just a running joke in the paddock now

user29: i mean i get her, i can’t imagine having people openly thirsting over my husband

user30: i think it’s more how people are switching up now they find him attractive, a lot of these people would’ve been the same people to relentlessly hate on him before - i get her frustration

f1

liked by yourusername, olliebearman and 1,204,379 others

tagged: estebanocon

f1: let’s talk about esteban’s season so far! after a worrying start at testing and in australia - esteban now sits ninth in the standings with 14 points after imola!

view all comments

user31: woah

user32: has he always been this hot?

user33: maybe if he looked like this when he was fucking with checo, i might have sided with him

yourusername: you’re disgusting.

user33: excuse me?

yourusername: not used to people calling you on your bullshit?

yourusername: esteban was subject to some of the worst hate ever during that time and if something as superficial as his hair would’ve stopped you sending hate, then there’s something seriously wrong with you.

user34: eat them up.

user35: haas has a new fan in me - he single?

yourusername: no.

user36: oh LOL - don’t look in his DMs

yourusername: we’ve been married for years, i promise you, whatever you think you can give him - he already has

user37: oh babe now he’s learned to do his hair and pose properly, you won’t be around for long

estebanocon: please refrain from talking to my wife like that.

user38: omg you guys are both in these comments? do you not have a life?

yourusername: god forbid a married couple want to defend each other

user39: although this is particularly jobless activities from y/n and esteban, i fully support them

user40: i could not imagine supporting my man through endless hate campaigns and then having to deal with everyone switching up once they found him attractive

user41: real 20/20 vision havers have KNOWN that este is a beautiful looking man

yourusername: real

user41: omg queen i love you

yourusername: thank you for being respectful when calling my husband beautiful

user41: yall looking for a third?

estebanocon: i don’t share

yourusername: very aware i turned this comment section into a war zone but for real LOOK at my man he is tearing up this season

estebanocon: thank you cherie!!!

yourusername: i’m so so so proud of you

yourusername: we love you haas

olliebearman: and ollie

yourusername: and ollie

estebanocon: and ollie

yourusername

liked by olliebearman, pierregasly and 873,096 others

tagged: estebanocon

yourusername: my man, my man, my man. don’t jump on the bandwagon. you can’t like him now you find him attractive. he’s always been sexy and most importantly, he’s always been the best person in the world and in no way deserving of the shit you people have been giving him for years. don’t worry your little heads though, he’s well taken care of.

view all comments

user45: she gagged yall

user46: as she should

user47: i gotta find me a partner this ride or die omg

user48: they are the blueprint for real

user49: the only f1 relationship to never get those PR allegations !!!

estebanocon: i love you to the moon and back, it’s the biggest honour in the world being your husband. i don’t know what i did to deserve a wife like you

yourusername: and how did i deserve you? fate brought us together and i don’t intend on letting you go any time soon

estebanocon: i meant forever when i said forever

yourusername: i love you mr ocon-y/ln

estebanocon: i love you too mrs ocon-y/ln

user50: oh my god …. i need them so bad

user51: idk which one i want more?

user52: which one? bOTH!

user53: i am actually foaming at the mouth for a chance

user54: i am no better than a man

olliebearman: love you guys !!!

olliebearman: can you fight the people in my comment sections as well?

olliebearman: they’re saying i’m cheating on alicia with kimi ???

estebanocon: you aren’t?

olliebearman: HUH

estebanocon: he’s in the haas garage more than y/n is at this point

yourusername: we jest!

yourusername: that girl is my little sister so you best not be cheating with the italian

kimiantonelli: y/n can you fight someone in this comment section? his name is oliver bearman and he’s BETRAYING OUR FRIENDSHIP BY MAKING ME OUT TO BE A HOMEWRECKER

yourusername: okay let’s make it clear, i only ‘fight’ people who are either hating on my husband or thirsting over him… i don’t care about your weird tension

estebanocon: you also don’t have to fight random people for me

yourusername: i don’t care, my sweet prince deserves to be defended

estebanocon: awwwwww i love you

fin.

note: some love for my este bestie !!! and flavy tbf, i would also like to be a third... jokes !!! (not really)

[theonottsbxtch]

i went to f1 75 last night so here are some semi aesthetic photos for my f1 smau writers

[norrisainz33]

celebrity crush || eo31

☆ summary: esteban gets the chance to meet his celeb crush at f175

☆ pairing: esteban ocon x famous!reader

☆ fc & warnings: bella hadid x none

☆ a/n: first esteban fic!!! if u saw me post this by accident before... no you didnt

masterlist

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

new interview with esteban ocon has been posted

view transcript

[interviewer 1] so esteban -- its no secret that you are a very big fan of marvel and super heroes! can we expect to see more special super hero helmets this season?

[esteban] yes!! i have some exciting special helmets!! tho i dont want to give too much away but there will be one featured this season for sure

[interviewer 2] amazing, well we can't wait to see what you're cooking up!!

[interviewer 1] while we’re on the topic... a little birdy told us that a particular hero and actress were your favorite - y/n y/l/n?

[esteban] *laughs* oui y/n may or may not be my celebrity crush. i just think she is a fantastic actress and she plays one of my favorite characters in the marvel universe

[interviewer 1] well you're in luck esteban! the same little birdy told me that she's going to be in attendance at the f175 event tonight!

[esteban] no way! well i'm really going to have to get dressed up now eh?

estebanocon has posted to his private story

view all story replies

lando: WHAT

estebanocon: mate i know

lando: you better shoot your shot

estebanocon: that’s the plan!

lando: i’m fairly certain lewis knows her…. let me see what i can do 😉

estebanocon: 😮

lance_stroll: now is your time to shine

estebanocon: wish me luck mon ami

olliebearman: **and for our livery reveal

estebanocon: well of course

haasf1team: our intel says she was invited by alpine (🤢) because of their owners. she'll be sat 2 tables away from us if my seating chart is accurate

estebanocon: admin you are my HERO

haasf1team: you’re our hero estie

abbipulling: if you don't catch her im going to be disappointed

estebanocon: going to try my hardest!

teamestebanocon: good luck boss man

estebanocon: ❤️

ynuser has posted to their story

view all story replies

user1: LONDON?!

user2: are you in london bc they’re making you the new queen? or…..

lando: my friend esteban ocon would give you a car if they don’t let you keep that one

teamestebanocon: my friend esteban ocon saved some cats from a burning building today and let me borrow his ferrari. i’m sure you could borrow his car too

user3: mother mother mother

estebanocon: 😍 looking forward to seeing you at the o2 later!

haasf1team: we can’t get you an alpine but we can get you some paddock passes to attend a race with a superior team 🫣

ynuser: hmmm is the monaco gp on the table?

haasf1team: OMG

haasf1team: sorry… i mean yes! any gp is on the table!

lewishamilton: and this is how i find out you're coming tonight?

ynuser: surpriseeee!!!! hehe sorry lewy. ive been so busy i forgot to reach out

lewishamilton: all good y/n! i'm looking forward to seeing you. p.s. i promised one of my fellow drivers that i'd introduce you to someone so be ready

ynuser: cryptic but fair. are they cute at least 👀

lewishamilton: i'll let you decide that one for yourself

user4: ok she’s a car girl now?

yourbff: no no get a pink lambo baby not this white alpine nonsense

ynuser: you're so right

zendaya: pleaseeeee come visit tom and i tomorrow

ynuser: done and done. i miss you both more than anything in the whole world

user5: i’ll buy whatever it is you’re selling

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, user7, user8, user9, and 14,320 others

f1gossip: marvel superstar and fashion icon, y/n y/l/n, has graced the f175 red carpet! its said that she's here at the request of her costar/alpine investor. we wouldn't be properly reporting if we didn't also tell you that she was spotted talking with lando norris and esteban ocon after lewis hamilton appeared to introduce his fellow drivers to his superstar friend. esteban has publicly said on multiple occasions that y/n is his celebrity crush - could our very own esteban have shot his shot? we'll keep you updated if we hear anymore.

view all comments

ynfan1: WHO THAT IN THE MIDDLE SLIDE

ynfan2: no fr.... im looking.....respectfully....... should i get into f1?

user31: pls look away this is a family affair

user1: my two worlds colliding

user12: KJFGHJFGHKJDFGNKJNFG

user2: well thank goodness you stayed calm

user8: so what im learning from this is if i talk about my crush enough,,, i'll get to meet them

user12: the all brown leather is serving so hard its insane

user13: they should just put her on stage instead of the cars.. i'd rather watch that

ynuser has made a post

liked by estebanocon, lewishamilton, lando, tomholland2013, marvel, sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, and 2,432,758 others

ynuser: what a wonderful weekend in london

view all comments

tatemcrae: you’re a literal goddess

ynuser: you're the literal love of my life

user4: mamacita

f1: always great to see you! [liked by ynuser]

user31: WHO gave you those flowers? quick esteban look away

user2: maybe it WAS esteban who gave her the flowers!!

user8: didnt they like just meet like 72 hours ago?

user2: yes but like they could have hit it off!!!

user31: ya know what user2..... maybe you're on to something

user8: y'all can't be normal abt nothin huh

ynfan: who is esteban?

user9: oh boy

estebanocon: was a pleasure meeting you!

ynuser: right back at you! 🌹

user2: omg she responded someone check on estie

user10: oh that last slide feels intentional...the black and red like haas.....noticing things......

lewishamilton: missed you my friend

ynuser: missed you more lew

user5: looks like im getting into f1 now

ynuser has posted to their story

view all story replies

user1: i promise whatever the person who is getting to take you out is offering,,,, i can do one better 😭😭😭😭

lando: 👀

ynuser: 🤨

user14: pls just one chance 😫

estebanocon: mon dieu you looked incredible tonight. thank you for a wonderful evening y/n/n

ynuser: thank you esteban! you looked quite handsome yourself

ynuser: let me know if this is too much but… i’d really like to keep seeing you

estebanocon: too much?? don’t be silly y/n. i’d love nothing more

ynuser: thank god - i was a bit nervous you wouldn’t be interested

estebanocon: have you not seen the multiple interviews of me publicly crushing on you? 😅😅😅😅

ynuser: hahahaa i have but still

estebanocon: no buts

estebanocon: wanna come watch me race in melbourne?

yourbff: what is this????? details immediately???

ynuser: you know how i went to that f1 event? well one of the vroom vroom guys was confident enough to ask me to grab drinks and he just was so incredibly handsome so i said yes…. and then at drinks he bewitched me with his french charm and now we went to dinner and i think i might like him like him

yourbff: you know what … i think being a wag suits you honestly

user22: feeling like montoya rn

tatemcrae: PAUSE! are you on a date?

ynuser: yes

tatemcrae: CALL ME RN

user25: idk how to bounce back from this ill be fr

ynuser has posted to their story

view all story replies

user4: chat we’ve lost her

tatemcrae: i can't believe this

ynuser: neither can i ... honestly i never thought the day would come where i found a partner that was willing to put up with all the craziness that i bring to the table but he's so incredible

tatemcrae: literally could cry rn. i am endlessly happy for you y/n!!! you deserve nothing but happiness

user2: AUSGP YOURE GOING TO THE AUSGP I JUST KNOW IT

lewishamilton: roscoe is wondering where his thank you treats are for making this happen

ynuser: roscoe or you?

lewishamilton: both

ynuser: i'll bring them to the paddock 😉

user19: adding melbourne to my bucket list rn

estebanocon: oh mon ange, we are in soft launch territory now?

ynuser: yes! you said that was ok? 😫😫 i can take it down!!!

estebanocon: yes mon amor! just teasing you 😘

user31: you can't tell me thats not esteban ocon omg

lance_stroll: was wonderful to meet you this evening!

ynuser: it was a pleasure meeting you!!! let's hang out more xxoo

ynuser has made a post

liked by estebanocon, haasf1team, lance_stroll, tatemcrae, zendaya, tomholland2013, jackhughes, and 2,987,345 others

ynuser: oh but you've got a sports car

view all comments

user2: is this supposed to be a soft launch bc you ain't slick girl ik that’s esteban’s car

tatemcrae: while you drive it real far 😉

lando: uhhh hey... while you're here.....

ynuser: good bye lando!

user18: literally sick with jealousy

estebanocon: ❤️

ynuser: 🤍

ynfan1: yup alright im into f1 now too

haasf1team: thanks for joining us y/n! black and red are your colors 😍

ynuser: i think so too

user24: i’d like to thank beyoncé for y/n’s appearance at the ausgp

roscoelovescoco: come to silverstones toos!! i misses yous

ynuser: anything for you my love

user43: i seriously have no one to talk to abt this and im about to crash out

user87: join f1twt and you will

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated!! lmk if you’d like more estie fics- i’ve noticed he doesn’t get a lot of love on here 🫶🏻

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[bunny-norris]

i’m so happy for them 🥹

[el-bibi]

Off limits (part two)│Mick Schumacher

pairing: mick schumacher x ocon!reader

word count: 780

A/N: hi everyone! thank you for the support on the first part, here's the second one. I hope you'll like it!

part one │part three

taglist: @1-of-my-many-obsessions

It was late in the evening and, as usual, everyone was gathered around the fireplace. A bottle of wine, some mugs of hot chocolate and a deck of cards. Angela was sitting on the floor, with Mick sitting behind her on the couch. They were all playing poker and Angela had won the previous two rounds, defeating Mick who had declared himself the best player at the start of the game night.

"You're good, eh?" Mick teased her as they tidied up the living room.

"Years of losing against Este and our cousins finally paid off." She chuckled.

God, she had the prettiest smile he had ever seen. It was so contagious he didn't even notice he was smiling himself whilst looking at her. But he couldn't have her, no matter how hard he had fallen for her, he knew that Esteban would have killed him.

The game nights kept happening every night and Angela always ended up on top, yet something was starting to change. They started sitting next to each other, their knees brushing against one another, their playful banter turning into shameless flirting, their fingers brushing at any given chance. Even their glances got longer, bringing the other to getting distracted or making them forget what they were talking about. Luckily, Esteban didn't seem to notice any of this, yet.

One night, the whistling of the wind woke Angela up, she rolled over and grabbed her phone. 3:47 am.

She stared at the snowstorm outside, it had been a while since she had seen so much snow. She put on the first hoodie that she found and went downstairs, craving something sweet.

When she got to the kitchen, she saw that the light was on and she saw someone's silhouette. Before she could say anything, he turned around, flinching at the sight.

"Jesus, I thought everyone was asleep," Mick chuckled. "Couldn't sleep either?"

"Yeah, the storm woke me up." Angela muttered, rubbing her eyes and sitting on a stool at the counter.

"You're scared?" He teased.

"Unfortunately for you, no." She smirked.

They kept chatting as if it was only the two of them in the whole world, keeping their voices hushed not to wake anyone.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, putting a mug of tea in front of her.

"Este will kill us if we raid the fridge."

"He doesn't have to know," he smirked and opened the fridge. "Bingo."

He had found some leftovers of the apple strudel that they had made earlier that day and they ate them, keeping on whispering to each other, giggling when one of them made noise.

Angela was sitting on the counter, munching on the dessert whilst Mick stood between her legs. He noticed she had some crumbles on her face and reached to wipe them off with his hand gently cupping her cheek.

"Angela," he breathed, his voice a low murmur.

She didn't move, she couldn't move. She was frozen, caught in the intensity of his gaze. She knew this was wrong. Esteban would kill them both. Mick was his best friend. And she was… off-limits.

But none of that mattered in that moment. All that mattered was the feel of his hand on her skin, the heat of his gaze, the way her heart was pounding in her chest.

He lowered his head, his lips hovering just above hers. She could feel his breath on her skin, warm and sweet. She closed her eyes, anticipation flooding through her.

And then he kissed her.

It was soft, tentative at first, a gentle exploration. But as her lips parted slightly, he deepened the kiss, his hand moving from her cheek to the back of her neck, pulling her closer. Her legs parted, making more space for him as her arms went around his neck.

The world tilted. All the rules, all the warnings, all the reasons why that shouldn't have been happening, dissolved into nothingness. There was only the feel of his lips on hers, the taste of him, the electric current that surged through her body.

When they finally broke apart, breathless and trembling, the silence was deafening. Angela stared at him, her eyes wide with shock and confusion. What had just happened?

"I…" Mick started, running a hand through his hair, his own expression a mixture of surprise and something else, something that looked a lot like regret.

"Don’t," Angela said, cutting him off. "Don’t say anything." She got off the counter and almost ran off upstairs.

"Angela-" He tried to stop her, but he knew he had messed up. It had all been a mistake, right? It didn't mean anything, did it?

[amirasainz]

So after the whole Brazil GP weekend, I have to say that the drivers were so funny to watch during the whole "will there be a qualifying or not".

What about driver!reader that does something crazy during the whole thing. And afterwards she is sleeping by the tyres, because it's the warmest place to be.

Thank you <3333333

Enjoy reading and send some requests!!!

- xoxo babygirl 💙

Umbrella

It was Saturday afternoon at the Interlagos circuit, and the rain was relentless. The paddock was a mess of puddles, drenched engineers, and soaked fans who clung to their umbrellas, hoping for qualifying to start. The drivers waited in their motorhomes or huddled up in the pit garage, bantering, snacking, and desperately trying to stay warm. Every few minutes, the announcement would come over the speakers, postponing the start of qualifying yet again due to the downpour.

Max stretched his legs, leaning against the wall in the Red Bull garage. "You know, maybe they should let us race with jet skis at this point," he muttered, making a few of the mechanics chuckle.

Across the pit lane, Charles threw his head back with a laugh. "I’d like to see you try, Max!"

Just then, a slow, familiar beat started to play over the speakers. Boom, boom, ka… boom, boom, ka.

The drivers paused, exchanging confused glances as the unmistakable opening notes of Rihanna’s Umbrella played over the loudspeakers. But what really caught their attention was a ripple of excitement that surged through the crowd in the grandstands. The fans had all started pointing at something—someone—approaching from the back of the pit lane.

George squinted, “Is that…?”

Walking down the pit lane in a Red Bull jacket, drenched but looking determined, was Y/N, Red Bull’s first female racer, only 18 years old but with a spark and style that had everyone buzzing this season. She strutted through the puddles, the rain bouncing off her cap, her Red Bull mechanics flanking her like a squad, all clearly in on whatever she was planning.

The beat dropped, and as Rihanna’s voice filled the air, Y/N tossed her jacket off dramatically. With a grin, she and her mechanics began to move in sync to the music, just like Tom Holland’s legendary performance on Lip Sync Battle.

Carlos’ jaw dropped. “Are they—? No way!”

“Yep,” said Lando, unable to contain his laughter. “They’re doing the performance. Full send!”

As the first verse kicked in, Y/N spun, stepping through puddles with dramatic flourishes, her mechanics adding spins and claps that matched her every move. Fans cheered from the grandstands, chanting her name and holding up phones to capture every second.

Pierre and Esteban, usually rivals on and off the track, were both doubled over with laughter, cheering her on. “This is the best thing that’s happened all weekend,” Esteban said, wiping away a tear.

Max crossed his arms, nodding approvingly, “Respect. That’s commitment right there.”

Meanwhile, the Ferrari team leaned over the pit wall, watching in awe as Y/N absolutely nailed every move, the raindrops flying around her as if the storm itself was in on the performance. When she did the famous spin-and-drop move that Tom Holland had made famous, the entire pit lane erupted in applause and whistles.

“Look at her go!” Lewis called from Mercedes’ side, genuinely entertained. “She’s got the whole crowd captivated!”

Charles shook his head, a grin spreading across his face. “Forget racing, maybe she should go into show business.”

Y/N laughed, locking eyes with the crowd as she sang along to the chorus: “Under my umbrella, ella, ella…” The fans joined in, their voices echoing around the pit lane. Her mechanics, committed to the bit, twirled their umbrellas above her as if choreographed for the rain.

After the song finished, Y/N and her mechanics took an exaggerated bow, soaking wet but absolutely buzzing with energy and laughter. She waved at the crowd, blowing kisses, as her team threw their arms around her, cheering and laughing.

When Y/N returned to the Red Bull garage, dripping wet and grinning ear-to-ear, Max extended a hug. “That was epic, Y/N. Never thought I’d see someone pull that off here.”

“Thanks, Max,” she said, hugging him tightly back. “Thought I’d keep everyone entertained since, well, looks like we’re stuck here.”

Lando wandered over from McLaren, still laughing. “You know, if F1 ever falls through for you, there’s a career in musical theatre waiting.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Y/N said, laughing. “I’ll just have to be a part-time singer and full-time driver.”

The rain continued to pour down, and with no sign of qualifying starting soon, the energy in the paddock started to wind down. After the performance, most of the drivers and team members settled back, some checking the radar, others chatting and relaxing.

About an hour later, Carlos spotted something odd. “Uh…guys?”

Everyone turned to see Y/N curled up beside a stack of tires in the Red Bull garage, fast asleep. She had her arms wrapped around one of the tires, using it as a pillow, completely oblivious to the rain and noise around her.

Charles chuckled, shaking his head. “She’s hugging the tires. Guess they’re warmer than the rain.”

Max grinned, whispering, “She really is something, huh?”

Y/N’s mechanic, Luke, covered her with a spare Red Bull jacket, careful not to wake her. “Let her rest. She earned it after that show.”

Back in the grandstands, fans were still buzzing, sharing clips and photos of Y/N’s impromptu performance all over social media. The whole weekend might have been wet and chaotic, but for one afternoon, everyone—drivers, fans, and teams alike—had found a moment of pure, unexpected joy in the storm.

[jungwnies]

f1 grid | gas money

୨ৎ : featuring : all drivers on the grid ୨ৎ : synopsis (requested by anon) : how they react to you telling them another man paid for your gas

୨ৎ : genre : comedy ୨ৎ : word count : 885

୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ 10k event | masterlist ୨ৎ

ᡣ𐭩 a/n : this was hilarious to write LMFAO

ʚ・red bull

max verstappen

silently stares at you for 5–7 business seconds

“was he old? young? did he look like the type to try something?”

insists on filling your tank from now on, no matter what

might ask you to describe his car so he can avoid that gas station forever

acts calm but logs it in the suspicious men who exist file in his brain

yuki tsunoda

“HUH? why??”

weirdly proud and mildly offended at the same time

“next time send me his venmo i’ll pay him back and then block him”

starts acting extra flirty and clingy all night just in case

absolutely forces you to tell the story to the boys like it’s a comedy bit

ʚ・mercedes

george russell

“do you think he had weird intentions??”

tries to stay composed but is 100% spiraling

“darling, this is why I say let me fill up your car”

types out a paragraph on boundaries and deletes it

offers to start driving you everywhere "for convenience"

kimi antonelli

blinks. nods. “what was his license plate?”

asks like he’s joking but you know he’s not

completely unreadable expression but sits a little closer to you after

“you know I’ll pay for your gas, right? all of it. forever.”

keeps one arm around you for the rest of the day like a warning sign

ʚ・ferrari

charles leclerc

confused and offended in a cute way

“he just… offered?? for no reason??”

“you didn’t smile too much, right? like not flirty smile?”

pouty and dramatic but kisses your forehead anyway

makes you promise to text him next time you're at a gas station alone

lewis hamilton

instantly goes into protective boyfriend mode

“are you okay? did he make you feel weird?”

doesn’t care about the gas, cares if it felt off

gets quiet for a second then offers to put a gas card on your keychain

“i don’t want you having to rely on random men, love”

ʚ・mclaren

lando norris

“wait—he PAID for your gas?? bro what—”

95% jokes, 5% wants to fight

fake pouts the whole way home

“guess I’ll just go broke watching other men fund your commute”

sends you memes about gas station sugar daddies

oscar piastri

“was it, like, creepy or just a nice old man thing?”

gets unusually quiet if you say the guy was attractive

“i mean… cool for you, i guess” cue jealous silence

offers to start filling your tank weekly just in case

later randomly asks “so what pump number was it again?”

ʚ・aston martin

fernando alonso

smirks. “ah… still got it, huh?”

not threatened but very territorial

“did you thank him with words or with your eyes?”

jokes, but definitely kisses you a little harder that night

pulls up in his car next time you need gas and does it himself

lance stroll

“i—wait. why?”

genuinely confused at the idea of strangers doing nice things

“you didn’t ask him to, right? like… he offered?”

laughs it off but internally annoyed

literally just gives you his credit card just "cause"

ʚ・williams

alex albon

“did you at least get snacks out of it too??”

not mad, just playfully jealous

“he better have filled it all the way”

wraps his arm around your waist for the next hour

carlos sainz

immediate eyebrow raise

“why didn’t you call me?”

suspicious but not outwardly mad — yet

says he’s fine but mutters “some random tío paying for my girl’s gas…” later

goes with you to fill up the next three times in a row

ʚ・haas

ollie bearman

“wait wait wait, WHAT?”

gets all flustered and adorable about it

doesn’t know if he should be worried, mad, or impressed

“you swear he didn’t ask for your number?”

offers to send you money for gas for the next six years

esteban ocon

concerned.

“do you feel like he was trying to get something from you?”

has an entire internal debate about whether to go back to that gas station

tells you he’s proud you handled it but definitely checks your location next time you go out

insists on a Starbucks detour “just to reset the vibe”

ʚ・racing bulls

liam lawson

“huh. did you let him?”

gives you a squinty side-eye for five minutes straight

then suddenly wraps an arm around your waist like “mine.”

fake calm but dead serious

“if it happens again, ask him if he wants to sponsor your boyfriend’s career too”

isack hadjar

“hold on, lemme find this man and shake his hand—”

joking but also not

“this is some rom-com plot twist shit. am i being pranked?”

says he’s fine but paces around the kitchen for a bit

absolutely sends a petty venmo for $5 with the caption: “for your gas, not his.”

ʚ・alpine

pierre gasly

“oh really? what did he look like?”

casually jealous—still flirty, still possessive

“did you wink at him or was it the hair? it’s the hair, isn’t it.”

acts normal then kisses you with a lot of tongue later

pretends he’s not thinking about it. absolutely is.

franco colapinto

“wait, huh?”

takes a minute to process

goes quiet, starts planning an over-the-top “gas station date” to outdo the stranger

“babe next time let me do something romantic”

fills your car the next morning and leaves a flower in the cupholder

ʚ・kick sauber

nico hulkenberg

“ugh. men.”

rolls his eyes like he’s seen it a thousand times

“don’t let it go to your head. i’ll still be the one buying dinner tonight.”

pays for everything that day without saying why

mutters “he’s lucky i wasn’t there” under his breath

gabriel bortoleto

jaw drops

“like… just offered?? for free??”

cute confused boyfriend energy

“was he old? he better have been old, like ancient.”

tries to act chill but clings to you the rest of the night like a koala

2021-2025 © jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate

[bunny-jpeg]

a deep ache, a desperate want

esteban ocon

tags: smut/pwp, protected sex, desperate!reader, reference to periods & ovulation (no blood), breeding kink (no pregnancy), dirty talk, established relationship (dating)

a/n: this one goes out to the 7 esteban ocon fans - and for those who have like several hours where they need sex right before their period

you knew you were getting your period. as you laid in bed staring at the ceiling, you knew you were getting your period. it felt like you were experiencing every symptom at once at the highest level possible.

on top of that, there was an itch in your brain. your body telling you that you needed to get pregnant right now. but logistically that was not possible. not with esteban gone most of the year with racing and you in graduate school, a baby would only hinder both of your careers. but your aching uterus didn't care about that. you were left flustered and needy, it didn't help that your boyfriend of the last two years was in the shower.

you tried rubbing your clit to relieve some of the tension, but it didn't help. it only made you more desperate. and it was only made worse when esteban came out of the shower with sweatpants on that dipped a little lower than your horny brain could handle.

you sat up in bed and looked at your boyfriend. he looked back at you, dark brows raised. you swallowed and moved till you were at the foot on the bed and kept your eyes on him.

"everything, okay, my love? you're very quiet." he said as he got to the bed and cupped your face. you looked into his dark eyes and he smiled at you. he rubbed his thumb across your cheek, "still having those pains?"

"it's worse now."

"need medication, or the heating pad?" he asked. he was such a sweetheart, always made sure that you were taken care of. you rubbed your cheek against his hand and sighed, "chocolate?" he suggested when you didn't answer.

you swallowed and closed your eyes as you said, "i want you to fuck me."

esteban's eyes went a little large and he said, "not that i'm going to say no, but... won't it hurt?" he asked.

you replied, "no... i want you to fuck me like you want to get me pregnant." then opened your eyes again to look at him, "but wear a condom."

"of course." he said as he let go of your cheek and leaned towards you to kiss you on the lips. you grabbed him by the white t-shirt his wore and pulled him into bed on top of you. the weight of him against you made you feel better.

to feel close to your boyfriend in a time like this made something in your soul sing. you felt needy and vulnerable, and there was no one else you'd rather have fuck you right now. not even your toys or fingers, you needed the real deal. you needed esteban.

he chuckled against your lips and said lowly, “you’re such a needy girl." he pressed kisses along your cheek and jaw while he felt up your breasts, "thinking about me breeding you, huh? putting a baby in you? how cute." his voice made you rub your thighs together.

"don't fucking tease me, ocon."

"i won't, i won't." he said as he got you fully onto your back and squeezed your breasts. you whined as they felt sensitive, "i find it... endearing, you wanting me that badly." he licked his lips, "you would look very, very nice with my baby." he pulled you by the hips, you clothed pussy up and his clothed cock. he rubbed up against you, he was teasing you, "knowing i got you that way. seeing the changes, how pretty you would look. all bred and beautiful."

"fuck."

esteban got undressed completely and grabbed a condom. he showed it to you and said, "i know, i would love to get you pregnant tonight. but, we'll get to that later." then leaned in to kiss you on the lips before he go the condom and between your legs. he admired you for a moment.

you held your breath as he sank into you slowly. your back arched and felt the thrum of excitement run through you. he was gently as he made sure that you were comfortable as he stared to make love to you. it wasn't rough fucking, it was gentle. sweet.

"beautiful." he said lowly

you looked up at him and smiled softly, "flirt." your voice was light as your lover started to move against you. if felt right to be this intimate. you loved esteban, you wouldn't be so desperate for a baby if you didn't. desperate that you had to rationally talk to yourself because the ache in your core was so strong. you let out a sweet moan and let your lover move against you.

"you have no idea what you do to me, my love." he said softly, "no clue." he admired you as he held onto your hips. he rocked against you, not hard enough to cause pain or discomfort. but just fast enough to let pleasure bloom between you two. it was hot, it was heavy. the pleasure between you two only grew with his movements.

as much as you'd both love to have a baby, that would come later.

he continued his filthy words, "i can't wait for the day i get you pregnant. the day i retire from this, when racing is over, we are going somewhere far. somewhere warm where i can spoil you for being with me through everything. and then, we're going to start our family. you like that?"

you replied, "yes, fuck yes." your core ached still but the pleasure helped ease the pain. it was like your body was mad at you for not getting pregnant tonight. but in all honesty, it probably was. your lover leaned in and gave you a heated kiss on the mouth.

you were soon pressed chest to chest as he kept moving. his hands now placed on either side of you for leverage. you moaned into the kiss and felt a flutter of want in you.

"i'd love that. spend a week, maybe even a month away. just you and i in bed together until you get pregnant." he groaned as he moved faster. you held onto his shoulders and shifted your hips to give him better leverage against him.

you swore under your breath. and he knew that it got you aroused. you clenched your thighs around him as he continued to thrust up against you. the kisses became messier, hotter in a way that made the pleasure crawl up your further.

"esteban." you purred.

"i know, i know. i promise it'll all work out once i retire. but i want that championship. i want to bring it home to you, show you my hard work." he said as he went in for another heated kiss. the two of you moaned against one another in heated passion.

you held on tightly to one another, whispered i love yous and sweet moans as the two of you made love. he said your name and you moaned his. you fit together perfectly.

"we'll have a nice little family, live somewhere comfortable. raise them." it only added fuel to your baby fever, you got more flustered. you tried to cover your face but esteban stopped you and pinned your wrist to the bed as he continued to fuck you, "i want to see our face, my love. i want to see you come apart on me cock. the only cock you'll ever need." his voice was tinged with heat and it swarmed through you.

the both of you didn't last much longer. another heated kiss and you soon came around your lover's cock. and esteban continued to rut up inside of you. the angle only made pleasure grow more for you even post-climax. you swore against his lips like a promise, you were his. and he was yours, and together you'd be a family one day. you nails dug into his shoulders.

"i love you."

"i love you too." the orgasm dulled some the ache, but you knew this wouldn't be the only round for tonight. when the two of you got started, it was hard to stop until you both exhausted. and with your period on the horizons, you needed him desperately.

he finished inside the condom and laid a heavy kiss on you. he felt you melt against him with such tenderness. you moaned sweetly into the kiss and he tensed up. only to relax and feel the warmth of pleasure course through him.

it felt perfect, you felt perfect.

another heated kiss was shared before he pulled out and got rid of the condom. some of the ache in you was sated and you could relax without the clawing feeling of wanting to be bred.

he tossed the condom and got back into bed with you. he held you from behind and kissed at your neck softly. he said to you, "one day, we'll have a baby. but for now, let me find other ways to help with your baby fever."

you chuckled lowly, "my hero."

"no." he replied, "your husband." <3

[pucksandpower]

Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

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u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

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u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

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u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

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u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

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u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

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r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

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u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

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u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

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u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

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u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

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u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

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r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

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u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

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u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

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u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

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r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

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u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

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u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

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u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

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u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

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r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

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u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

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u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

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u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

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u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

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r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

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u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

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u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

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u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

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